Nateland | Episode 147 - Animal Fights Pt 2 - Ft Nick Thune

[Daniel Tosh Joke about a poker game with all the world leaders but you can only bet with what your country’s worth and he’s like wouldn’t it be great being America that uh oh Costa Rica is going all in with 15 coconuts]

Nate’s McDonald’s Happy Meal Story

Wayne Denton is related to Brian

Harlem Globetrotters

Big J joke – had a clip on his thing where a guy falls down did you see that I did uh and it’s so funny the guy broke his chair and he stayed sitting on the ground

The Last Comic Standing

Comedy Central

pilot with Matthew Broderick

Mandalorian

Roman Coliseum

Nick Thune interacts with a killer whale

Peta

Starbucks

McDonald’s

Las Vegas

MGM

Transcript

Full Transcript

[Music]

thank you today’s episode of the nightlam podcast

is brought to you by Starbucks ready to drink Harry’s athletic greens and better help

hello folks and hey bear welcome to the Nate land podcast I’m Nate bargetzi

sitting with Brian Bates Aaron Webber and a little special guest filling in

for uh Dusty slay who uh drove his car off a cliff from what I’ve heard on

purpose yeah on purpose so I think he’s doing fine so he made it he made it but uh he’ll be back next week testing

gravity yeah yeah yeah uh Nick Foon welcome to the podcast I’m really

lackluster response from the room on that yeah no people are not impressed and no I’m very happy to have you here

but uh uh Nick is uh me and Nick have been close for ever a long time yeah a

lot of Tours uh is it is it uh fair to

say that I think you you flew in last night and it looks like

you flew in and you had your window down on the whole flight is that the fight

okay well I asked for a car today to go get some

coffee he did get coffee and the car that I was given does not have doors on

it yeah it’s a Bronco with no doors and I just had to drive you know yeah five

miles to get the Bronco does not have doors on it and uh I took them off last

week because it was nice the weather was it was like taking the doors off weather nice and then uh I was gone and then I

just haven’t put them back on and then Laura was always that always happens to me yeah I always forget to put my car

doors back on yeah yeah yeah well it’s a fun ride to not have the doors

that’s like I mean usually take all the doors off I did a Starbucks

um drive-through yeah and I pulled up and the woman was like you don’t have to open your doors oh really yeah she thought that I had

like open my door to yeah now these there’s no doors over here it’s uh when you when you so uh you know it’s like a

Jeep or a Bronco you have when you don’t have doors on something and you go through a drive through it’s aggressive yeah I mean it’s it’s it if if you’re in

their space you’re in their space uh it’s almost like you’re bragging that you have pants on yeah yes just want to

prove to you guys that if you wanted to fight a drop through person I would suggest getting a Jeep or

something with no doors that’s a big process to go in to just want to fight but you never I mean look I’m not

telling you to fight people and drive through windows but I’m just saying if you were someone that like I’ve had

enough with this one drive through person one day I’m gonna go give him I’m gonna give him what he’s had coming you go out and lease a car

I would say bye Brent maybe they have the car yeah I mean if you’re a guy

fighting a guy and drop the window your car might and I have doors anyway so uh you might have a Honda that

doesn’t have doors yeah if you’re if you’re doing so much that you have you’re like I have a lot of interactions

with drive-through windows and I it’s aggressive mailman could be a mailman

uh mailman truck pretty low it’s low to the ground you haven’t been a drive through yeah and they’re on the other

side yeah so I think that oh oh not even think about that going backwards yeah

UPS drivers they’re the ones that UPS yeah they’re just wide open for business yeah you could just have to attack one

of those guys whatever you want yeah yeah UPS I think you would I think

people have learned not to mess with them because they they just are like because they can get a run and start I

mean they got it’s like a basketball court inside there it doesn’t even seem like they’re sitting down it seems like they’re standing and driving yeah and

then they can just and they could leap right through right do it uh a mailman go through a

drive-through in Reverse such a funny image to me the power move I wonder if that’s been done before I’ve never seen

it I’ve never seen it but I mean I I bet it has to be uh yeah it takes look it up certain type of

person yeah I bet they’re good at driving in Europe I was thinking that yesterday I saw the mailman that’s the kind of stuff my mom Googles by the way

yeah has the mailman ever ordered Starbucks delivery

uh probably not allowed to no they avoid driving in Reverse uh yeah they would be

good at driving in Europe yeah I think all the mailman you have to be European it’s required to do U.S mail

yeah I mean you got to be if uh if you can if you go to Europe and

you’re a mailman I mean that’s got to feel good when you’re like I’ll rent the car and you get to be like I mean just

nailing it they’re like sir just so you know the steering wheel yeah I got it I got it yeah I got it you guys don’t have

any envelopes do you yeah that’s one thing I do need I wonder if it though if it’s it messes them up

because they’re used to driving our away and not that’s right so they like they could be a little off

yeah that could be interesting I’ve just found some uh some literature from the United States Postal Service they

discourage their drivers from backing up they say occasionally you’re gonna have to obviously based on where the car is

but if you can avoid it don’t back up because that’s where a lot of their accidents happen I think we talk about

that what’s what’s in the past is in the past you know yeah gotta move forward yeah

man thousands we’re talking thousands of motor vehicle accidents from from being

in Reverse twenty two thousand I mean that’s a lot of twos by the way they’ve really yeah 222. yeah that’s too convenient yeah

uh through the end of October third oh no that’s quarter three of 2017. I

mean this is like a is this an internal document yeah look at it I’m supposed to

see this it says if he caused an accident what will you say to a grief stricken mother who has just lost a

child you’re like uh oh there’s a child was seriously injured

by your vehicle while you were backing up you’re like I’m just trying to be a mailman no reason is good enough how who

would think there’d be an excuse good enough that you would go as a mailman you go I had to go backwards because a

dog was in front of me they go all right that’s a pretty decent excuse hey that kid uh broke his leg but ma’am

um hey we got a couple envelopes here for you and is that your son yeah lying in the street out there yeah because I

don’t think he’s alive yeah do the right thing avoid backing up

while on your route children live and play where you work yeah only you can avoid backing up on

your route only you can avoid backing up yeah

backing a vehicle is a personal decision I didn’t realize it was this big of a

thing dude backing up is not is the real deal that’s like a the onion article or

is this no I think the the post office is like we’re not joking around dude like do the right this is literally what

it says do the right thing avoid backing up while on your route I mean would you you would leave the meeting and go what

was the deal with backing right what’s going on out here but if you’re in a situation where you have no option and

the guy is just like you’ve got to get approval from my manager you might have to call higher up hey I gotta reverse

like two feet yeah and he goes you’re not gonna believe me but car just pulled in front of me guy

got out I mean I think I want to when the mailman comes now I want to like right

when he stops in my mailbox I’ll just pull my car in front of him and get out and run and see what and just see what

he has to do he probably has to notify everyone in the neighborhood door to door hey I’m gonna reverse a couple of feet I’m getting four houses down it’s

like a ambulance yeah just starts going off they shouldn’t even allow to have a revert like you should be like a ride at

Opryland just you can only go forward I’m pretty sure they have the beeps right the reverse I would think they

must is is the reason because there’s no there’s no rear window right so you can’t you can’t see anything behind you

it’d be tough yeah yeah but I mean like I mean I backed up a box truck there’s

no window back there you look out the side mirrors and there’s a point you know I had a

mailman yesterday I walk in my dog and he just like you know he’ll have treats for the dogs in

the neighborhood and he just slings out the window he nailed me with it

just Nails me and keeps going yeah that’s great a dog like it but it kind

of stuck yeah did you even see them no I’m just walking and they’re very quiet if you

didn’t even notice you had a dog you did throw overhand now that I think about it no he just swung it you know

and then uh it like hit me with it wow that’s awesome well

that’s tough do you backed up did it again yeah and you go wait a sec you’re

not supposed to back up uh all right a lot going on how do we

even get into that uh I don’t know I don’t know I don’t think we’re ever now yeah uh I don’t remember

we talk about drive-throughs it could be the most memorable part of the podcast so far I think yeah out of everything we

talked about yeah so far yeah uh so uh I’m back I know we’ve I

we’re out of this this episode’s coming out whenever uh uh next week next week

but that could that doesn’t mean yeah anything to anybody yeah that’s true uh

but uh then we will be after if you’re watching this episode wait next week in

2013. yes yeah yes if you’re watching this episode that the next one will be

up we’ll be up today right yeah we’ll be back live we’ll be back yeah kind of

live kind of live but like that recording the week of I hope you guys don’t sit on this for 10 years we’re

gonna sit on for a while I don’t even know if we’re gonna hear it because you were here uh and it’s free to Air because it just

goes on YouTube we’re gonna hold on to it okay yeah yeah

just keep sending me weekly updates hey man we’re we’re gonna get it up soon Nick what’s up hey uh we had some

trouble with the audio on that one so we’re working on it but we got everyone but yours yeah yeah yeah everybody else

we got we’re airing a couple of them twice and that doesn’t even make sense because they’re all on YouTube

and they lived there forever uh all right so this week uh I had a

Nate’s golf adventure

pretty wild week uh I went and played uh I went up to Vegas

and played in the 8 A.M uh uh Golf Tournament Justin Timberlake’s golf tournament uh 8 A.M golf they’re doing

some really great things they’re building a course here in Nashville and uh I was there with you know Fallon was

there uh and we did this whole video uh the Tennessee kid because my special

called the Tennessee kid and obviously uh Timberlake is the original Tennessee

he’s back says Tennessee kid I thought it was funny I thought you know I said when I first met him he

was very nice and when I first met him uh he was like because they invited me out to this I didn’t even know he knew

like knew me or anything and like and then uh when I first met him he was like uh

I was like hey I did I named it the Tennessee kid or whatever but you know in my head I was like well he’s not like yeah I didn’t think it was he’s that

much the Tennessee kid yeah my special was just named that and it’s like it was on his back and you’re like oh it’s like

oh you’re the real tennis that’s his bag in the video yeah yeah okay certificate

yeah he is the Tennessee kid uh so uh we did this video very funny Rory Scoville

texted me in this video he’s like just a quick side note in this video is just Dr jet same thing yeah like just oh yeah

there’s also a doctor also Dr J yeah I mean just out of nowhere just uh Dr J

uh me and Dr J rode together uh so we they did they do like a Ryder Cup

huh it is it’s insane the whole time I drove I just my head was going Dr J yeah

Dr Jay like I just kept telling myself I couldn’t believe it Dr J is awesome yeah

awesome uh just it felt like you’re riding with the buddy we were just calling him uh I would go dock a little

bit be a lot people said doc a lot I said Julius a couple times because people said Julius and so I didn’t know

like you don’t really know what to say but you find yourself easily just saying Doc and I mean he answers to everything

but uh yeah it was like he was just me I’m just driving around and like you know he’s uh 73 years old and uh

and it was just he just is an awesome awesome dude like uh just if like we just we’re talking about like so you

play like a Ryder Cup style thing and uh so is me and Doc versus them two for

nine holes and then we switched up and we played uh someone else for nine holes and then uh and then the next day doc

pinched a nerve and uh so he was hurt and then they put me with this guy Drew Stoltz sleazy his nickname he’s they

have this him and Colton that hosts the subpar uh golf podcast and they’re both

unreal golfers uh they both played like Colt was like on the tour and then uh

Drew uh he played I think he I don’t know if he made the tour but he might have played mini tour or something like

that uh their podcast is great if you like golf podcast uh their subpar

podcast is great and uh so I played it in but he’s like a legit real golfer

uh unbelievable I want I’m gonna text you the doctor Jason or 100 in a game or

is that Wilt Chamberlain Wilt Chamberlain uh did you ask him that hey was that you yeah yeah go hey I asked

him about flying I’m gonna airdrop you this uh other picture Aaron yeah uh I I

asked him about uh like when they flew when they were coming up you know I was like did y’all

they you know they flew commercial at the beginning like so like back in his day when he first started like can you imagine like

the NBA you just gotta go fly so go to that oh yeah go to this so this

one goes so this this is the last day uh of the tournament and we’re playing

this is like a 211 yard par three I was this close to winning a Lamborghini wow

I was with CeCe Sabathia and Jimmy Rollins versus me and Drew Stoltz this

is insane and we’re watching it dude and I’m like I’ve I haven’t had a whole one I’ve had a whole one on a par 3 course

that I don’t really count I’ve never had one in a full round and uh this was a very far hole dude because they have to

because it’s for a Lamborghini so they like if you ever play in a golf tournament and their cars are if

anybody’s playing the golf tournament there’s hole in ones for cars all the time they do an insurance thing but they have a yardage that you have to be and

it kind of depends on the car and so like like it used to like so usually it’s like 185 yard Par 3 is what

something has to be but I guess because it’s a Lamborghini they’re like no it has to be over 206 yards and so this was

like 211 and uh I hit uh live hybrid and it I hit it and dude it

look when you play golf there’s times when you the ball goes you’re like it from the get-go you’re like this is

gonna be yeah it’s there’s a chance it’s gonna be it’s gonna be good and so we’re sitting there watching it’s a long watch

because it’s flying so far and in my head I’m thinking dude I’m about to win

a Lamborghini and I mean he got CeCe Sabathia just behind you and we’re like

God like we’re watching it and I mean and we see it come and then you’re like there’s moments where you go it’s close

you’re like it looks so good coming in then it lands and so then that’s your second kind of adjustment to go what’s

it doing what started rolling towards the hole Yeah so now I’m going oh my gosh I’m about to this is about to go in

and then it just stops just left of it dude and uh I mean I was like I would I

would have drove home I just drove from Vegas and like I’ll just meet you guys I gave

you a Honda Accord or something that’s what I I said something like that too I was like I should get you know something

you end up bogeying it or that three-putted got out of there and uh the

people watching it up at the because there’s so there’s people up at that hole

watching that I guess is like part of the insurance they were not they didn’t give me anything no kind of reaction no

kind of reaction what does CeCe give you CeCe went crazy yeah yeah that’s what I would want oh they all went crazy yeah

there’s a video uh there’s a little video of a cc comes up gives me a big high five we were talking about it for like a few holes because it was such a

fun watch yeah like in the excitement of just being like are we about to watch a

hole in one like so everybody’s like going crazy and then uh so we kept talking about it and like just joking

about it uh had to have been the closest one that day right I think so how close is that uh it’s about a foot and a half

probably wow so it’s even closer than yeah they gave me the putt like it’s

close enough I mean they they just picked it up and were like yeah they were like you’re good like it was that

close uh it was yeah I mean man it just

everything looked so good all right sometimes with so many razors or care products options it could be hard to

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dollar starter set the whole the whole weekend was uh I

mean you’re it’s just an insane you know it was very fun like to meet a lot of

these people I’ll tell you these people he picks a good group to go out there it’s some really great guys like Dr J is

awesome uh we went to the fight like we have a picture of the fight went to Ryan Garcia fight so that’s rich day who I’ve

talked about why does it look like Jimmy’s outside that’s just and you guys yeah that’s Jimmy shine like Jimmy just

closed there’s no lights in that picture it’s just the girls yeah wow we took a picture right when we

left uh rich rich is uh got us all kind of really hooked up with some tickets uh

over at MGM and they they got a great guy over there and uh uh so it was we

went in uh it was it was just an all like the experience going there was we left the

we’re saying our thing was at the wind and so we stay at the win I mean we were one hour within one hour uh we went to

the fight and was back in the hotel to win because we we had we went pretty late and when we we we got there we got

in our seats the bell rang and the fight started and then once it ended we had to get back because we had a they were

having another event for the Justin Timberlake thing so we had to all get back and so then we left right when it

ended and I mean it was the best timing of going to something ever that’s how I

like to do boxing matches just just pop in pop in pop out yeah yeah I mean I

didn’t see the walk up I didn’t see and I like it was like that part seems fun though that that part does seem fun but

we just didn’t get there in time so none of the undercard no no I mean I sat down

when I sat in my seat they rang the bell they were waiting for you yeah we go and

begin yeah Fallon gets I’ll tell you what Fallon is uh

and I’ve said it before but like this is the first time we got hung out with uh I think I found a bunch but like this was

a full weekend of Fallon like especially in Vegas and uh he’s as good a guy as

you want him to be and I’ve said it before that he is but I mean it’s just

there’s a lot I take that I can learn from watching him and like the way he interacts with fans he gets hounded

everywhere oh you didn’t talk about the difference of Fame yeah it was like I was I was telling Chase or with me on

the road I was like that’s the difference is to be like I can like you know I get I can someone comes to me

every day I get you know it’s like you get recognized every day it’s not that and that’s the difference of being on TV

every day when you’re on TV every day it’s every single person knows who you are and it’s people from other countries

it’s people from it’s there’s there’s no Rhyme or Reason to who’s recognizing you it’s it’s it’s every

single person I mean Timberlake is obviously like that too I don’t know if he I didn’t walk around them but found no security we were like we were with

him and he didn’t have anybody with him uh he took pictures uh he enjoyed

everything he is uh it’s it’s a good person to and Nick you know you’ve been

around him a lot too uh being on the show but he’s a great person like to be around and to watch to like kind of see

how you should handle yourself in situations he doesn’t know what he does not make anybody feel like a bother and

that’s a I always like that like when someone comes up to him that you don’t feel like you’re like he’s annoyed that

he’s having to talk to you he’s very good at moving stuff along you have to move stuff along so like yeah you can’t

sit there because because it would be impossible and it’s too chaotic to be like people that are good at that it’s

an art it’s an art it really is to be like you give them give a moment they take a picture with you but then it’s

also kind of we got to keep going because it’s just you it’s like you’d be out there all day well I mean you just

can’t yeah it’s just impossible it’s just you can’t do whatever because there’s too many people coming up but I

mean he is uh true pleasure and if you met him he’s

going to be exactly what you want him to be and it’s it’s and it’s awesome to get to

say I don’t know if you get to say that about everybody and it’s uh but I can tell you you feel you can say it for him

and we’re with his assistant he said or his assistant Kelly has been there with him for 14 years I met her when I first

you probably met her when I’m like first doing late night without and she’s still with him and like we would you know we

were even saying because that Travis with me I was like do we need like does he need any help or whatever and she’s like no he knows he’ll get out of it he

has to get out of it like you know it’s what he does and then she just and he would just go through and take all the pictures and then we would kind of get

going and walking and then you know get stopped a little again do it quick and then go and go and uh that’s a long time

to be his assistant too I mean do you think she’ll ever just be eventually get promoted up to being him yeah eventually

yeah yeah yeah I mean I guess she’s a assistant I mean I think she’s they I

think BP or something she’s like what no well she’s just running his world yeah

you know like I mean yeah I think it’s you’re above like you’re not she’s not an assistant like that she’s uh I just

like the idea of Assistance or like someday you know I’ll be you yeah that’s funny now is the sports coat

is that for the after event or is that boxing attire that was for the after event we so we went to a uh I’ve never

been to a boxing match I don’t know maybe no people do you think they were Chris simply wearing boxing gloves yeah

when do you think that’s stopped do you ever see old pictures of like baseball games in the 20s everyone’s wearing

suits and top hats at some point people just started wearing sweatpants and t-shirts yeah I mean when did that

happen now Nick still doesn’t but he looks amazing uh oh now you’re coming

back from that Old wind blown hair look yeah well but you do dress you’re a good dresser yeah and then uh Nick would have

fit in in those times right when they people like in New York walk around the street I saw some pictures and I was

like I missed that I was like I wish we did some more of that well the thing is is you can get

like this suit if you were to wear this you’d be like oh I feel like I’m wearing a sweat pantsuit I mean it’s it’s

stretchy and it’s yeah yeah yeah you feel comfortable in it and it just looks nice yeah I mean I got it on the tail

end of that back in my day the NFL coaches still wore suits on the sidelines oh really well Tom Landry and

yeah he was the main one but I wish that was good all right you’re just naming you’re like you’re like uh you know uh

Lombardi uh you know Lombardi had a suit I remember going to a game he’s coaching

college and I’m like like the coach from Notre Dame in the Rudy movie yeah yeah

you gotta remember his first year he showed up he said I’m not gonna wear a suit and we got on him we got on them

you’re too small to wear a suit they said yeah basketball coaches still wear suits yeah but even that’s getting more

a little bit more loose yeah you could see him wearing like uh I I think I like him wearing a suit I was still wearing a

full uniform with the shorts yeah pacing up and down I would

yeah I I think I just I mean I don’t look I don’t wear a suit but not sure

like when I go on stages like I wear like nice clothes like so uh you try to dress

up and you like it is you want an event but I mean you really should I wonder what the dress code is for an NBA coach

if there actually is like a rule book because if I were an NBA coach I would wear what the refs are wearing you know

just to [ __ ] with the other team like if you could wear whatever you want to wear this is a clean podcast oh yeah shoot

sorry just to mess with the other thing wild animals sorry out of all the words the worst word will

you guys will someone Mark that down yeah we’re good yeah yeah you’re gonna be cut out of this whole the last one

yeah like 14 times by this point so you’re

killing it no not so far you’re doing good Giannis is pretty bad uh but not a bad idea dressing like a ref though yeah

now you’re trying to get out of it and move on maybe it’s your gold teeth that you can’t uh

no yeah Gianna’s cussed a bunch so we let people you’re sorry I’m not gonna do

it again yeah I don’t want him yeah you were it’s not because of the rules I just don’t feel like it

now he’s making a point I could I could have it’d be funny I’m

angry the rest of the episode yeah you got the last few as we say goodbye

it’s just like well Nick lost it at the end there uh uh yeah this whole Vegas thing was

awesome though I mean the I mean obviously it was a crazy crazy event they raised a lot of money uh and uh

I’m trying to think of anything else how many people fit in that that room do you think uh I mean probably like you know

eighteen thousand that site a little less than a negative against the show yeah uh well that ring is about twice

the size of the stage that you used I’ll give you the ring is bigger than the stage yeah uh I did about my joke at the

Zanies 40th anniversary show

Ryman uh I can say it now because I’m not going to say it anywhere yeah so we did it I did a show at the Ryman for

Zanies did their 40th anniversary show and so Aaron was hosting and uh so when

Aaron brought me up I said because I had a joke idea and I said uh uh I was like

say I just broke the attendance record at Bridgestone because I was gonna have a joke so he brings me because this next comic uh broke the attendance record at

Bridgestone please welcome Nate barget he brings you up and then I walked out I said I use it on these shows it’s this small of crowds we’re in a 2800 seat

theater 2800 sold out sold out yeah uh got a big laugh yeah it was funny it was

very fun uh very cool to get we didn’t talk about this right like no it’s just happened

yeah so uh everybody that was on the show uh

uh it was I don’t was that before this was before they wait until you left oh I wasn’t there we were waiting for you and

then you know you big timed everybody showed up later well it was that late I was like I did not mean to Big Time

everybody I know nobody thought you were uh would have been nice to have you in this photo it would have been I should have been there not too late yeah they

could just put me in there to photoshop you in but yeah well you got one at the end everybody came back out yeah I don’t

know why I was so far I was trying to I was way off to the right because you

had just finished your set I just finished my set and I was also trying to get away from James Gregory to like give

him James Gregory is the legend the been around for a hundred years so there’s

like in that moment you’re like that sounded like I’m trying to go James already had something and uh I didn’t

want to catch what he had no James Gregory is blessed art been around forever so like when they like he’s kind

of like you’re like you’re just being like this ain’t about me dude like this is James Gregory is the guy that’s why I

had that when I came back out after his set he was like getting a standing ovation yeah so he did good though you

backed off backed off and kind of let him you have good proper I I noticed that stuff Aaron does have that yeah I’m

a big like you never leave the stage empty remember that like I like that kind of state stuff and so when you

walked out there for the James Gregory because it you know he needs a little help walking out right and stuff and uh

you when you you noticed it you backed and I I noticed that okay and then I

like that because I I it shows like uh appreciation for what in that I was

trying to do that then but then with no context it looks like I’m just going like I don’t belong with these people and I should be my own person also

though I want to talk about this wave form you’ve got the looks like the right hand up and then

you’ve got the left hand Crossing yeah is this to say God Bless America yep I

would if you wanted to start if you wanted to swear me in yeah oath I could do it I’m always ready to be swearing

toe I’ll tell you everything uh yeah I always ain’t I’m afraid to wave too high

because I’m afraid my shirt’s gonna come up yeah so I got when I wave John John’s

confident well he yeah I mean if you his stomach’s flatter I mean I’m so maybe

you’re even in a way you’re kind of holding your shirt down oh my biggest nightmare is my shirt and isn’t that

everybody’s biggest fear it’s like the bottom of your shirt comes up and you’re like

but if you’re not skinny usually a fat guy fall over the first thing he does is make sure the shirt’s down below his

pants yeah yeah always thinking about it oh I would I do that too I was thinking earlier is is a nightmare too because

like uh when we were sitting downstairs there’s a you were in the chair and I just had a jacket laying over the thing

when someone tries to pull a jacket out and you’re leaning on it is that like a nightmare did that happen did you pull it out no

no I didn’t because I but the thought in my head was like I would think if uh

it’s like you’re sitting on something you’re like I’m sorry and then you realize dude you’re sitting on so much

of it yeah you have to like yeah you have to lift up is that that’s got to be this is kind of what happened on the plane last night is the person next to

me rested their leg up against my foot and I realized oh they think my foot’s

part of the plane yeah so now at some point I have to move my foot slightly just let them know hey this isn’t

playing yeah this is me and I did that and they you know it was like you know she just moved right away yeah

yeah it’s like that moment of like letting someone know like hey you’re not actually on couch you’re on jacket yeah

yeah yeah yeah and it’s it’s like you have no idea you’re on the jacket and so

then it’s just like the whole room sees you go oh you’re just sitting on someone’s clothes but then when the

jackets pulled out you’re like this honestly this couch was more comfortable with that jacket yeah yeah we did put it

back I think like a kid could sit on a jacket and you would pull it out from under him and it’s not a big deal but I

just I would imagine I’m just going off if you’re a bigger guy it would be you

just don’t be sitting on clothes because it means you just backed down and you didn’t see anything

and when they pull it it’s so off it’s like oh I’m sorry and then if it’s not

if it’s a corner you’re like no big deal but if it’s like yeah it’s all warm now yeah you’re like you gotta I need you to

stay in place you gotta stand up oh it actually got caught kind of in your belt yeah big guys have the same rules that

mail trucks do about backing up yeah you don’t do it that’s very funny yeah

you don’t do it if they go it’s on you what’s could you have that thing pulled

up uh still no oh it’s what does it saying like uh oh here it is uh let me

just see the same as big as you go uh am I back am I backing up because I’m in a

hurry is there a safe alternative to backing up is backing up my last resort

[Laughter] someone be behind me perhaps a child that’s a big one am I relying on Lady

Luck these are the questions you ask yourself as a big man backing up back it up as a big guy as a personal decision

is someone behind me perhaps a jacket perhaps a jacket in most situations you choose to maneuver yourself to avoid

backing up the safety of others depends on you do the right thing avoid backing

up when you’re in someone’s house yeah what will I say to a grief-stricken mother who’s just lost

children live and play where you walk around in the neighborhoods in the

houses you’re going to all it takes is one second for child to Dart behind you as you back up sit down only you can

avoid backing up man that’s look at that that was great that was funny that was great uh

you Nick I’ve seen Nick you’re you’re uh my favorite thing is you can be confrontational is the guitar remember

when we were flying and you put the guitar up yeah because Nick will be I love uh I love confrontation if I’m not

Nick’s guitar confrontations

if it’s not me but I’m like kind of in I can see it if I got a front row seat to

it uh Nick is one that’s great I’m I’ve lately taken the back seat like a a mom at my

my son’s soccer game last week got confrontational and I kind of egged her on to it you know I was like you see

that I mean that was a handball and I know that she’s like ready to go yeah yeah now I’m begging her up now you’re

doing it now what happened with the guitar on the plane it’s just you know having a guitar traveling with a guitar everyone from the car that you’re in to

once you get on the plane is telling you we can’t that won’t fit on the plane that won’t all the employees the whole

airport staff and then when you get on the plane they’re like oh yeah you can put it anywhere you want right you want me to hold it the whole flight I mean they don’t care but but trying to like

get it above you know the seats it can be an issue and yeah I don’t know he was you were sitting there and you go uh

who’s uh suitcase is this or something yeah sometimes because you don’t wanna I’ve done that where you just touched

somebody’s suitcase and you’re like hey don’t touch my suitcase it’s like yeah sorry you know so he’s asking he’s doing the right thing who’s okay this is done

by suitcase no one’s answering yeah and it’s kind of an awkward thing because it’s like he’s asking and it’s we’re all

sitting there where you’re like it’s somebody’s yeah and that somebody is right here and no one’s answering and so

he goes well I’m gonna move it over just to the other side like just move it just talking to the to the void to the air so

if anyone’s listening I’m gonna move this over to the other side and he moves it over and then uh puts a suit and then

then the guy’s like that’s my suitcase don’t touch it you’re like well I mean you’ve been at he’s been asking the

whole time well no then I and I and then you sit next to the no like the

guy goes don’t touch my suitcase and I’m like well I already mentioned it you know and he was like yeah just put it

back and I go I looked at his wife and I go you want to talk to your husband about who she should be talking to yeah who he should be talking yeah yeah yeah

and it just got real quiet he got real quiet and then he sat down next to him

and Nate looked at me like thank you yeah oh I loved it I love I

mean just an uncomfortable uh it was great but Nick did the right I

mean he was asking very politely very nice very charismatic and then in the end I

was an absolute jerk yeah just can’t can’t do it but that’s better

than the last one oh yeah you’re working in the right direction yeah okay yeah we’re going down here we’re going down we’re doing good yeah we’re gonna get

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these comments here yeah just in the comments I’m just giving us a comments it’s hard to top your weekend they yeah uh

Comment roundup

Josh and Jane Mada Mida thanks for creating content my 12 year old daughter

and I can both listen to on the way to school it’s gotten hard to even listen to radio

in the morning without worrying about what inappropriate topics are going to come up nateland is both fun and educational all right that’s what we’re

here for educating some 12 year old kid’s gonna be in school like hey did you know that a mailman can’t back up

they’re like shut up dork but if you bring uh yeah I don’t know

what I was supposed to say never mind Tommy Bowles bowls bowels

I hope it’s bold I hope it’s bold either way it’s a movement yeah either way it’s moving too yeah that was good Tom yeah

Tommy Bell’s coming in I mean imagine every time someone he has to get up and go APM yeah he’s got to go to he’s like

I gotta go bathroom fast I bet you do comment bows he’s like uh release the

bowels release him by hand uh I recently saw an ad for a Nate burgetty T-shirt

with Nate’s name on the breast I struggle with wearing some of the dude’s name around even jerseys of famous

players I make up a rule in my head that the person has to be older than me if I’m going to wear something with a name

on it I like y’all’s take on wearing jerseys shirts with names of others on them

I agree with the person them being older than you so I guess I’m not older than

him you can wear Tom Brady’s jersey that’s it yeah I can wear Tom Brady’s jersey uh

it’s uh I do agree with you and we have her name like that’s why a lot of the stuff we have Nate land two on some

stuff now because it’s like I do get it’s like tough but it’s some of it’s like the tour shirt so it’s a neighbor against the tour so it’s like uh you

have it on there but I understand what he’s saying I mean I’m wondering he only has one breast

that’s true one name on the breast it’s just kind of a weird way to describe it I wish he would have just said breasts

oh he just said but it’s all my name’s only on one breath okay it’s not on the

other so that just says Nate yeah like it’s a work shirt yeah Nate barget but it says

your name yeah oh okay so it’s his neighbor getsy on the I thought yeah no

one you didn’t get it no I would have that shot yeah I love that shirt yeah uh no I didn’t I thought it just moved

across that I didn’t say that’s just a weird way to describe it yeah I don’t think he I just I thought he described

it perfectly Tommy yeah one bowel movement over here yeah talking about breasts yeah I thought he nailed it wear

whatever makes you comfortable Tommy I understand but would you wear I’ve wore like the Titans Jersey you got like uh

you know Derek Henry you got a Henry Jersey but I wore it because they like gave it to you I could understand

somebody gives you a jersey yeah whatever but I could see wearing if you have a Henry Jersey and you’re going to

the game and you’re like I don’t know some of the football jersey you’re like I would say if you’re in the environment of the game I don’t think it really

matters because it’s like you’re going to the game wearing it to like the grocery store yeah that’s crazy and then

you should be I think adults you shouldn’t be really wearing jerseys like you should be wearing them at the game

but don’t wear them no I think the opposite wear them all in Gross you don’t think you should wear them at the game no if you’re in my case Derek Henry

could be my son

well what if they need you yeah you’ve already got the Jersey there you go you’re ready to go well in your age

you’re just too old for jerseys yeah you watch coaches wear suits so you

probably could never get a New Jersey I mean you would go to it would be tough Dr J yeah yeah yeah it would be tough uh

you’d go to a football game with a newspaper one of those hats on

yeah absolutely yeah and a game um when I was a kid yeah I would go to the Nashville Sounds game and yeah keep

box scores I mean when I stole first base the parent that was keeping the bug score had a race in

stole it from home I still second and then I stole first okay it’s uh it’s a whole thing it’d

make you curse again yeah Corey O’Brien while the last airline to

ban smoking did so in the late 90s you still see ashtrays in Airplane bathrooms the reason you see this is because of

the few idiots that think they can sneak in a cigarette break in the bathroom if they’re dumb enough to smoke on a plane

you better bet they’re done enough to start a small fire at 30 000 feet in the air the ashtrays are for that exact

reason wow so they yeah they’re almost like saying it’s okay to smoke

they’re giving you an option something yeah I don’t think many people are ripping cigs in the bathroom I think

it’s all Vape now I well I think now it’s all I think if you’re and I think a pretty good amount of people are just

vaping at their seat oh yeah yeah they just blow it into their yeah shirt or whatever yeah yeah yeah I think now but

I mean I I bet people did would go try to sneak it a cigarette in sometimes you

missed that old stuff man that’s a weird one like people smoking on a plane people smoking cigarettes I’m not you

shouldn’t smoke I thought about that this weekend the plane is so small just to think that everyone was just ripping

cigarettes back then you’re like golly they crack a window they had a smoking section yeah

they had yeah they did have a smoking section it was in the bath there’s the uh yeah yeah was it walled off with like

a no no no I think you smelled like cigarettes I think back then you just smelled like cigarettes I think everyone

yeah every jacket you own just the world smelled like cigarettes yeah yeah yeah but there’s something nice about that

it’s like there’s something it’s the older I am I remember doing you were doing comedy in places people are

smoking yeah and I remember just being on stage and just seeing you would see the Smoke Rise and you knew all right

I’m either gotta just wear this exact same thing all weekend or everything I own is gonna smell like cigarette smoke

all weekend but there’s something that you kind of miss about it like it’s uh like an old school yeah it’s just the

the idea of it’s nostalgic you know yeah I think that’s it like if I see someone’s like an old dude seeing smoke

cigarette sometimes I was like man good for you man sticking it to the man don’t smoke though for kids because I mean

it’s not good for you but yeah yeah but just just be like when you see an old

man doing it just be like you know just yeah exactly tip the hats

absolutely it’s like an old dinosaur you know you seem like an old dinosaur you’re like ain’t gonna be many more of those Left Right enjoy it enjoy it while

you can enjoy watching someone doing it while you can yeah uh Jordan Chamberlain maybe Wilt Chamberlain’s son yeah

uh I’ve been a fan of Nate this comment scores 100 points or not I’ve been a fan of Nate since full-time magic he’s up

I’ve recently went down to Nate YouTube rabbit hole and saw a set at the Laugh Factory uh when he was talking about

Target Walmart and Kmart he used a bad word it was so strange I’m just curious on his thoughts about it it’s funnier

when he says I’m not old money so I’d love to hear his thoughts and his process of how he worked that joke uh oh

yeah Nick now it’s now wow I don’t remember what I said I think uh

probably the SH word I bet oh it was uh the second word he used oh

oh I’m not old money I’m not a oh really yeah oh that’s what I said I don’t

remember that uh yeah I don’t like that uh that if I I would have done it then

because it was like at Laugh Factory and it was like you’re not in front of a you’re in front of a crowd that’s seeing

dirty so you know it’s like I would think like I was always clean but then

some like sometimes you would think like it’s late not a lot of people like I need this one maybe word and I wasn’t

good enough comic to think like that word just would get the laugh and I was a good enough comic to

uh not I mean I was I could basically not do it I have another one yelled about a clown where I’m like don’t be a

you know uh the one word v I follow the person home yeah yeah that’s one of my

favorite jokes I know and that that one I asked my dad about when I did it I was like talking to him I go I don’t I can’t

think of another word to say here like this word works so good and I can’t

figure out a way to do it and I told my dad and then he my dad you know luckily being a comedian basically you know my

dad’s like no I mean yeah if it’s the word that needs to be used for the LA like he’s like you know because I’m not

using any other word you know what I found is that if you actually just say

the word as if you’re saying the other word because it’s really like the way that you’re projecting the word that

gets it so if you say another word that in that same way because usually when you I think when people replace a word

they say it differently yes they like go down they’re not as confident they do whatever but if you just come out with it because I did that with a word that I

was like there’s no way you know that this is gonna change and it was it made it better yeah because

you’re doing now you’re getting the laugh that it’s not the word but you’re using the inflection of that word so

you’re actually getting two laughs off something and there’s two ways you could do it you could use the word that everyone knows you could use a silly

version of it you know like that is like oh yeah that’s an old way

that people used to say that yeah um but a lot of times you might not get the

response but if you just say it like it yeah I’ve never thought of that that makes a lot of sense yeah I mean I could have said

uh fire truck like you could say anything you could have said snitch yeah yes yeah

yeah which would I should have I did I changed that exact yeah word

yeah yeah just hit it with the same just hit it with the same yeah yeah it’s tough it

was uh yeah I just was in the comic to figure it out back then but thanks for bringing up that moment Jordan yeah

he started the game with a hundred and then they found out he was cheating at the end he’s like so you suck right yeah

it was uh no no it’s it’s uh it’s uh uh it’s funny to I I yeah that

one I always like try to say it’s like that one in that y’all that bad clown and I know

that I have no like the the Laugh Factory sets you have no control over that’s the Laugh Factory post that stuff

on YouTube so they have so like some of that too was like I was doing a show that night I’d mind thinking about it

being filmed and you’re just because you you know it’s like I mean truthfully in that crowd there’s like

25 people there there’s not that many people there and then they film it now it’s now it’s people see it so I like I

would now now I would never like but if you didn’t sign paperwork you should just have them take it down I might have signed paperwork who know

you know if you did it doesn’t matter they would still take it down yeah yeah you know it’s not it’s not that you know

it’s it’s look I’m not perfect uh uh I am now but uh

because anyway but I was not perfect back then but now I’m I’m pretty perfect yeah uh no uh

Drew Oglesby glad to see Nate’s tour is coming to Denver soon it reminded me of

the last time we performed at the downtown Comedy Works location a few years ago one of the openers was the

Clean openers

local guy who had the exact opposite of Nate’s clean style of Comedy the jokes were funny but he was getting very few

laughs through the content and language of his material I’m curious if Nate remembers this night or if he has other

stories of people thinking would be a clean show only to be surprised by one of the other Comics Nick do you remember

that night I do yeah yeah his name was Nick something yeah uh

well Nick you’re basically clean yeah besides right now but he was but even

hearing this whatever Nick’s always been you’re basically clean you could have very you’re going out we’re going out

this weekend you’ll be you’re it’s not hard for you to be clean it’s you’re you’re out of the

transitioning of being clean not cleaning you’re the easiest to do it because you’ve already always been

basically clean my last five hours on the road that I’ve done I’ve done totally clean just because just it’s not

it’s a great exercise but you know also it does you know when I see what it does

for you and like the especially like doing corporate shows and stuff like that yeah

and especially where your act is is no you’re already clean so it’s like just to it was like vecchion like it was like

oh like great like they would have little stuff here and there and you know but then it was like you’re just

basically already there like just commit to it and then that way you’re do it but it may do whatever anybody wants to when

you do this stuff and they book an opener sometimes so I I just gotta ask I was just talked about it last night uh

if you go see like if you go see Aaron on the road we’ve talked about it you’re not always going to get a bring your

opener you’re not always in charge of who is going to get to you’re going to come see uh

so eventually you will be but it takes a while to get to the point where you can

bring someone you can tell the club hey I’m clean people might if people want to

come out from nateland they’re gonna like and just just so you know like they’re going to be tendency to be like kind of wanting a clean show that does

not mean that the club is going to do it or whatever it’s you can get there’s a point in your career where I’d imagine

Aaron you’re at where it’s like you’re just in this stuck in this kind of thing where you sometimes you can bring your

own person sometimes you can’t bring your own person and are you definitely not gonna have your own host right and

you’re at a club so you’re kind of you’re trying your best to try to say it’s clean show but it might not be and

uh I always think the audience is when you go they they understand that like

you know they it’s you don’t really have a huge say in it uh I had a I I have

them send me YouTube videos if I’m gonna do local openers like let me just see let me prove the approve of them yeah

but I had somebody recently I finally said this I don’t know if you’ve ever had this where the um feature act walked off stage

and I’m standing there and he goes they sucked and he’s honestly he sucked that was

what was going on and and I looked at him and I said don’t ever tell a headliner that yeah don’t ever come off

and think I want your opinion on that audience especially as I’m about to step into an hour with them yeah you want me

to start off thinking like negatively you know and I I’ve wanted to say that so many times to people because it’s

like don’t put your yeah your experience out there is not mine yeah they’re

actually here for me yeah this is going to be different yeah yes but it was I don’t I don’t know yeah I’ve had that

happen too I don’t love it like I think they’re trying to it’s like it’d be one thing if like it’s me and you going up

and saying something because like we’ve been on shows when it’s like your peer like you’re just like dude I don’t know

I thought they were weird like you’re like okay but it is we need someone you don’t know you’re like yeah man I mean I don’t think we’re yeah

I don’t want to go into it like thinking they’re not good and then usually they’re awesome yeah that was the exact

case yeah I’ve had that from the opposite direction though where the headliners ask me how are they

and I don’t want them to think that I if I had a bad set I don’t want them to think that I think that was good you know I

mean yeah so I find myself saying I think they’re just really excited to see you or something like that because

sometimes they are yeah they are they may very well be true but instead of saying they were terrible and I don’t

want to really say I’m terrible but I also don’t want this guy to think I think that was a good set it’s hard so also the opener you have to think about

you got to practice a lot so you’re nailing it I mean I’ve had a lot of practice yeah I’ve got it memorized yeah

what audiences look for in an opener is get me to the headliner so yeah you have

to you’re battling against them just thinking you’re okay that’s just kind of what they’re gonna think you know like

you actually have to either be better than that or I don’t know it’s I just see it over and

over again where people like people will say like oh man you should have been the headliner and it’s like well no I I only

did 15 minutes that was really easy yeah that’s not like working an hour you know it’s a completely different thing yeah

I’ve had a lot of that too where they’re like man yours was so funny you’re like yeah yeah I was in a perfect situation

yeah it’s going to be very easy to say but you also wouldn’t have been at the show if I was yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

uh yeah that’s why like when my show like on the road now like we have uh you know

two to three openers but it’s like trying to build that where you know it’s like it’s it’s you the openers are it’s

fun comedy openers are different than music openers I think music a lot of people don’t like always I mean some

people do want to go see the openers but sometimes people don’t but with comedy you’re like I mean everybody’s doing like 10 minutes or something up there

like 12 minutes like so it’s like you get to watch them you just get to watch them come you get a shot that’s the

thing is you get a shot to do yeah great yeah you kind of have to well then the audit but I mean yeah what I’m saying is

like oh when I go out now too is like it was like we just filmed we’re filming this right now at Zanies

the Showcase where uh the day this comes well no it won’t it’ll already be over

but uh we just did one last night at Zanies Dusty hosted uh Aaron’s hosting

tonight and then you’re hosting uh the next night and then uh where it’s all

like uh I mean a lot of comics that are like they actually have credits and like touring headline and stuff like that uh

but it’s a Comics that can be clean and we did last night and it was awesome and so the whole it’s like I just tell

everybody like I said TV clean basically like uh and it’s uh we filmed uh last

night and it was just I mean I was I had so much fun and it was uh I’m not on it but like

there you guys are on there I directed it and but it’s just so much fun and it just like I just want like you know the

audience that listens to like comedy I it can get like uh being accessible

to a lot of different ages is it’s a good thing for comedy and people want to

laugh I mean that’s why laugh you’re saying like those clean serious ones are like a lot of people listen to that yeah

because they want to hear because comedy is very easy to kind of listen to uh and

it’s just nice to listen to you know on long drive you just hear and you’re laughing and it’s a very pleasurable

thing and uh I like when we go out it’s like they have openers because it’s like

yeah it’s like then everybody can see you’re seeing it it’s like that’s part of the show like come watch the whole show and

you’re gonna just sit and relax and have fun and know that you’re gonna have fun and you get to see everybody you know

stand-up shows are more set to be a whole show yeah than a than a music show because in a music show they do like a

half hour between they reset the stage you know right yes yes yeah yeah it’s

just like once the show starts like we’re rolling this episode is sponsored by betterhelp uh it can be hard to

balance things uh or your time and uh spitting on other people you need to do

a lot of stuff for a lot of other people but you also need to take care of yourself and you need to talk about your stuff uh stuff that you’re going through

stuff that I think both of you Aaron and Dusty should have to talk about y’all need y’all got something wrong with you

and you should go talk to someone about it you’re right uh we spend you know like if you do if you’re doing stuff I

believe right you’re doing a lot of stuff for a lot of other people and it’s easy to not think you have anything to

worry about but if the more you want to give the more you need to kind of be

able to give and so you don’t stuff I’d worried guy work on is like I

can take out stuff on other people that shouldn’t have it taken out and for some reason it’s building up and then you

just send it in a direction that it’s not fair for it to be sent in uh therapy

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need uh uh you know it’s not for just it’s for people that experience trauma

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betterhelp.com Nate today to get 10 off your first month that is better help

h-e-l-p.com slash Nate uh Lauren msweiler Watson what do

comedians days look like during the week when you aren’t on the road mine look much different now than they

used to but usually I would I mean I would golf a lot so I’d go golfing there but now we have this podcast and usually

there’s stuff going on uh you know the where do we travel a lot

and you’re uh gone from your family a lot uh but our traveling look at it’s

like a lot of a lot of people travel for work and you know they’re gone but ours are like when we’re home we’re home like

it’s you’re you come home Sunday to Thursday it’s like I mean you’re just

home that whole time yeah you’re not going to an office or anything like so you could be home Sunday to Thursday but then I’m completely gone Thursday Friday

Saturday uh but it’s like so it’s like kind of your schedules are just kind of

different like that but you know we’re due uh you know just hanging out I mean

just I don’t know it’s nothing too now it’s like you know you have a podcast of interviews you do there’s all kind of

we’re filming stuff this weekend he’s there’s a little more stuff at home but yeah but like my son even you know like

I’m like how many I I see all the people picking up the kids at school when I go and it’s like how many parents do you

think pick up their kid at 2 30 and give them their full rest of the day like I don’t have to go to work yeah we’re from

2 30 to bedtime together doing fun stuff that’s awesome and that’s like the way to do it yeah you know yeah it’s a

different the the you travel a lot but I mean I don’t know a lot of business guys that travel

that will leave on a Monday and go somewhere until Friday and then they come home and they just live on the

weekend and some of it is because they want to raise their kids here instead of somewhere else and so they just that’s

just what they have to do people have to travel and then uh for work and that’s always a tough uh it used to wipe me out

a lot more too I used to come home and be like it’s like that coming home from Camp feeling where nobody around you

experienced what you just went through right here yeah and like no one’s like you know helping you walk into the

grocery store anymore yeah yeah all these things and then and then uh you’re

like I’m really tired you know like I I want a nap like I usually get a nap now

yeah yeah this is weird yeah when I come home off the road it’ll be uh I mean now

that like Harper’s 10 you know either the kids start getting busy or they want to FaceTime their

friends or all this kind of stuff but like we’ll be around like and yeah you’re just you know a lot of us being

around and then you’re uh kind of just hang out and uh yeah we’re all here and yeah it’s great

I don’t know Riley Allen Allen uh the first comedian I’ve ever even uh I even

remember watching was the Red Skelton on a VHS with my grandfather when I was around seven years old why are you gonna

The first joke you remember hearing

me uh because there’s a shot at you at the end of this car I’m now 28. I was

wondering if you guys remember the first comedian you ever saw on TV or in person or in Brad’s case maybe an AM radio

station Brian was uh Brown was at that taping

I I vaguely remember my parents watched Johnny Carson yeah

and I’d be on the floor plane and I feel like this was George Carlin I wouldn’t toys

it could have been yeah it could have been some wooden toys plastic really a rocking horse yeah well they didn’t have

couches yet yeah yeah this was late 70s yeah early 80s

um I feel like it was George Carlin although the joke I’m about to tell is doesn’t Sanka George Carlin joke but I’m there playing they’re watching them you

know whatever and he said something about you ever been at the grocery store and you look in someone else’s

card and then you’re like ooh you eat that and for whatever reason is a seven-year-old kid that really resonated

with me because I’ve seen other people’s food yeah and I thought that was so funny yeah okay that’s the only thing

part I remember yeah but that’s one of the first jokes yeah little things like that I’ll just stick because I got it as

a kid like yeah other people’s food is gross and then when your thoughts were these out album remember he’s like a

bachelor talking about like what a bachelor home was like compared to like when he’s married I don’t know that yeah that was really good that hit me mine

was Sinbad afros and bell bottom oh yeah I remember we were allowed to watch that

I mean his McDonald’s someone waited in line to order McDonald’s menu and just being like how do you not know what this

menu is and stuff like that and like just he would act it all out I re I

remember that I remember my buddy had a CD player he

was sitting outside the school and a couple people had headphones on and they were just howling laughing and

like you got to come listen to this and I put it on it was Jeff Foxworthy doing you might be a red deck yeah just

running through them yeah I remember this is the funniest thing any of us had ever heard oh yeah at the time you know I think I thought yours was going to be

like like something embarrassing like like for us for being older yeah like

years you know you’re like I remember listening to Bill Burr yeah that was early on Daniel Tosh I remember one of

his albums on LimeWire what if I were like dude Matt Rife you know yeah something brand new you’re like

dude uh yeah Daniel Tosh very funny

so I remember he had a joke about a poker game with all the world leaders

but you can only bet with what your country’s worth and he’s like wouldn’t it be great being America that uh oh

Costa Rica is going all in with 15 coconuts oh man I did I laughed so hard at that

yeah he is so I’ve never met him his stand-up but he is his standing he’s very underrated as I met Daniel well you

we were talking uh earlier about the Mystique he’s a guy I know nothing about his personal life I don’t know his views

on anything yeah I never see him on a podcast he’s just he did a um I remember

hearing this back when I was doing a lot more comedy clubs but he he was they were like yeah Tosh doesn’t do radio

yeah this is like when you had to do radio all the time yeah yeah it’s like yeah he just that’s part of his contract doesn’t do radio yeah yeah because he

was selling out but you know that was also his his stand-up was so

joke heavy and and really well written long pieces and and and and in a way

that like you know Bill Burr can take that that angle that is like shocking he was

doing that I mean yeah Tash was doing that like majorly yeah yeah yeah saying crazy stuff yeah uh yeah he was very

yeah he’s very very funny obviously I mean everybody knows that but I just think he gets a little underrated like

for sure because you you don’t see much of him but man he’s great uh I was born

in uh Terry Weaver I was born in Alabama when I heard that Aaron was from Alabama it made me start thinking a bit

I’ve been able to trace my father’s lineage about nine Generations back to Germany where Peter Weber pronounced

Weber vieber left Germany came over to the United States somewhere along the

way my father’s line of the family tree changed the spelling and pronunciation of Weber to Weaver I wonder if Aaron may

know much about his own lineage it’s at least interesting considering the origin the origin of both of our surnames as

well as our Alabama Roots hmm now I don’t know a whole lot about that I will say I almost uh I’m more likely to think

we’re not related that we both lived in Alabama and didn’t know we didn’t know each other

and once chose to change their name the other didn’t yeah yeah that would be if you were from a different part of the

country I think there’d be more of a chance I don’t know if that makes sense it doesn’t pee uh

yeah to me I would know somebody from my own

family if I lived in the same state with them yeah but I mean you could he’s saying like but you don’t know cousin

you know you know when someone finds out someone’s related and it’s like you’re like oh dude we’re you remember I always

remember like Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady or like cousins or something me and Wayne didn’t oh yeah isn’t that

crazy yeah I mean I was saying the the his dad’s best friend yeah yeah oh yeah our family for that talk about my

McDonald’s Happy Meal story were they didn’t give me a Happy Meal yeah uh the Dentons Wayne didn’t in Bates are

cousins distant related yeah oh that’s insane yeah yeah are they related to the family in Yellowstone the Dentons I

don’t think so maybe though I didn’t watch jealous though Jello Stone Jello yeah Laura’s watching Yellowstone yeah

I’m not watching any Lars going through it

uh yeah so I hope we answer that you know I don’t think we did but yeah yeah maybe

we were related Terry let me ask you this did you have money or because the we because the uh the vibers

the vibers the Aaron the Weber family is loaded yeah so uh yeah we’d be

interesting to know if Terry he may grow on the wrong side track maybe your family wouldn’t allow his family to come over they were like The

Nair do Wells yeah here we go Kelly Jonas hello folks I’m a newer comic and

I want to make a career Kyle Kyle Jonas hello folks I’m a newer comic nothing

like Kelly and I want to make a career out of Comedy I’ve been constantly doing well at the open mics I go do every

night but I want to take things to the next level so my question is having a social media presence with a large

amount of followers necessary for a young comic to get over at clubs or can you get yourself to a paid regular spot

without social media even in today’s world thanks for all the laughs and hopefully the advice

I do not think that’s possible with social media I think it’s horrible

that that’s the truth it’s so it’s so not a thing that you signed I signed up for when I became a

Canadian um but right now the way things are going I mean we you guys I don’t need to

I don’t want to like mention his name again but you guys mentioned someone earlier who’s like really getting a lot of heat

right now yeah he did a show before me in Vancouver and they were like at the

same venue and they were like women were throwing their phone numbers on stage yeah you know and it and it was like it

was not and he’s he’s funny he’s such a good kid but it’s like it’s Jeff Foxworthy yeah yeah but you know it’s

it’s like yeah that that’s how it happens now that is the only way

that’s all the clubs look at how many followers can you post a post every day promoting your shows

yeah yeah it’s a completely different game and I’m definitely happy I started when I started uh

and I wouldn’t want to go back uh look that being all that being said I

don’t think you I think you can still be a great comic and and can and can get stuff I really do

I think you can you do need a social media presence I do understand like all that kind of stuff uh

but I mean if you’re if you can focus on your comedy and really be great

at it and be funny you could just I mean even if you’re just posting your social media present could be just posting the

your stand-up clips that would be the easiest you don’t have to go have a personality of like whatever but I know a lot of people do like the the crowd

work stuff and all that stuff but I think if you just post actual clips of

stand up like you could do that the problem is is that they’re being seen way too early yeah oh yeah yeah and it

you shouldn’t be seen that that young you know like that’s what was good about our time like I I had to get a spot at

the Improv before anyone you know like goes to being important saw me yeah and

now like people or assistants are coming through Instagrams and tick tocks and forwarding them onto the but I don’t

think there’s people a service because it’s uh look I will tell you as a newer comic

and if you want to make Cree out of it it’s like you just go to the open mics go every night keep getting just keep

writing keep getting better yeah social media is going to matter and it is going to do stuff if you if you if you don’t

want to have to create an act for social media then I would just say just film your sets and post clips of your sets up

on your social media just your stand up and then that way it’s like kind of a loose way of being on social media uh

instead of having to like have a Persona because I think writing to be a character on social media that’s like

going to take you away from writing your jokes and stand up’s not gonna you’re gonna end up not like like these

everybody doing these uh crowd work videos and stuff like I mean

is that what your act’s gonna be like you can’t you know if I think it I think to get the the

quick jump is the social media grab of it all but to get to a level where you can tour for

the rest of your life you you’re not going to be able to do it with crowd work you just can’t you’re not going to

play Big places doing credit work you just can’t it’s not it doesn’t work you can do clubs you can go headline clubs

and not saying that’s not a bad thing but enough to get to another level you have to have an act you have to people

are buying a ticket for a professional act and so if your act is always just

crowd work it’s that’s going to work for a little bit but I don’t think it’s going to work for a long run you have to

you have to have when you know I mean when you go see Harlem Globetrotters there’s a that’s an

act you’re seeing something that’s designed to be like there’s it’s so good because they practice that thing every

they don’t just go let’s see what happens you’re buying a ticket because I’m going to watch a professional act

now if you’re at a club yeah it’s much different like the you know at a comedy club people the crowd work stuff for the

whatever that can be it’s very looser Experience tickets are cheaper like

there’s a lot of stuff it’s just that’s it’s about the vibe in the room that that’s great but if you’re trying to go

past that you gotta have in it I read this I saw this Reddit that uh like a subreddit where somebody

posted like a crowd work clip right yeah and there are social media and then somebody commented on it I was in the

audience no one suggested that he just said it as if somebody did yeah

and then like did it and then like crowd work you know but it was like it was a pre-written thing that he had to set up

yeah a lot of crowd work is like you got a crowd work becomes an act because

there’s only so many times like you know where are you from uh you know

San Diego all right well if I’ve done comedy for a year and done a lot of

Comedy I’ve probably had someone from San Diego so are somewhere near San Diego I probably have a joke that I

remember saying what are you divorced here’s my divorce joke yeah what are you a biracial couple here’s my biracial

trick here’s about like everything you’re just there’s only so many people in the world so you’re like there’s at a

crowd there’s only you have kids yeah you don’t have kids you’re not gonna get stung you’re single

wait your name’s Jason yeah here we go here we go say goodbye to the next hour yeah ready to go yeah it’s it’s and I

mean look and people that do it are great like big J big J does the crowd work big J is one

of the funniest people we’ve ever I’ve ever been around uh in my life Big J’s very dirty uh we talked about but like

he had a clip on his thing where a guy falls down did you see that I did uh and

it’s so funny the guy broke his chair and he stayed sitting on the ground engine yeah and he

goes your cherry goes oh and he goes he goes I’m doing to you what my biggest fear is is someone calling out that a

fat guy broke a chair and then he goes hey man you got to get a chair are you gonna just sit there on a broken chair

like like they were gonna and it’s so funny uh

but it but Jay is very dirty that being said but Jay’s like people are great at

crowd work and they can be or and there’s what Todd Berry another one’s great at crowd work there’s people that

can do it Ian back is like unreal at it so there’s there’s there’s levels to it

I’m not trapped I’m not trying to trash crowd work but I think if you’re a younger comic and you’re seeing that that gets the clips I don’t I mean

you’re gonna feel the Sudden Rush of just like wow a lot of people know [ __ ] maybe some stuff happens whatever but if

you do not get an act it’s gonna you know I mean there’s eventually people

are gonna get over crowd work this is the DAT fan syndrome right where he won The Last Comic Standing and then the

first one Comedy Central threw him on tour and after the second show he wasn’t the headliner anymore because he didn’t

have over because he was too young he didn’t have 20 minutes yeah you know like he he killed it on the show and

that was like that that was kind of the first way of putting comedians that got

famous off of something that quickly without material like like Tick Tock or whatever it was Last Comic Standing

because he beat Ralphie May who had been a headliner for like decade yeah yeah who could headline everyone yeah and

then that fan was but he was great on the show and so it like worked out that

way yeah I mean you gotta when people start spending money on tickets and stuff like that they want a show dude

like they want you know they you can you can get people to come buy it to watch

whatever like and then come see you and uh you know it’s more of an event it’s

kind of a fun thing but that won’t last and uh if that I I don’t think he’ll

last it works with your age so the people your age that are into this kind of thing are very fun but then

once they have kids and like once they grow out of it that’s that that’s what I would tell Comics do whatever you want

to do at the age that you’re at but you need to grow with your audience if you don’t grow with your audience there’s a

point you become old and then your audience is not going to be the same they’re gonna you people your age have

families and kids so there’s a little you know there’s a world where like well 20 year old’s not

going to go watch a 40 year old that like is trying to act like a 20 year old because it just doesn’t you know it

feels weird he’s like why don’t you go watch a 20 year old that’s doing what that I like he’s talking about what exactly I want to hear about but you

need to be able to grow with someone your audience your audience is always going to be a little bit younger than you you know like I know I think a lot

of people come to mind but it’s like they relate to they’re relating to whatever the the the stories are the fan

it’s talking about family it’s talking about very well yeah it’s like I I used

to feel like insecure about doing a bit about kids like when I first started kids I’m like what about all the people that you know but I used to be like I

know some of you guys in here have kids and some of you guys were kids and you know I probably know about kids you know

so this will affect you in a different way yeah yeah yeah either from the kids perspective yeah yeah but everybody in

the audience you gotta like depending on the venue you know you can get trapped to newer Comics can be when you leave

the New York or La scene uh it’s an audience is it’s all over the country

which is my big thing with you know they don’t make TV for the middle of the country they make it for New York and

L.A that’s why so much stuff is gets no views and no no one talks about it

because it’s too specific to just you know everybody out there is just making these shows that are just like I mean

you don’t even live on you know you live in a different world yeah like you like you don’t like everybody else is just at

home going to school and they’re not thinking about all this stuff all day long yeah good luck Kelly

uh no and say hi to your brothers for us yeah the Jonas

uh well we could probably get rolling uh we’ll do a lot of a lot of I’m talking

for a while oh you know what I always say life moves

fast Starbucks ready to drink coffee delivers an uplifting boost that can help you tune in to the moment

that’s a tough noise sorry just want to show my Starbucks here rotate that around again let me hear

what that sounds like oh you’re doing it so delicately now there it is it’s Starbucks Coffee

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it’s chilled it comes in four awesome flavors mocha vanilla caramel and coffee how do you say caramel uh caramel wrong

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uh Noah stack help you can’t keep stelkom

how do you say it I don’t know style cup s-t-a-l stall cup Noah stall cup

probably s-t-a-l cup you can’t keep teasing this with stories about Nate’s pilot and never show us any of it I I I

mean I have a you know what maybe one day out maybe I

Nick and Nate’s failed tv pilots

could show because I had the only thing I have because I couldn’t I I don’t know if I can show it because I think I could get sued for that because you don’t own

it right yeah no they have it I don’t I don’t have it so I don’t I don’t like hat like it’s not like I’m just sitting

on the thing I recorded some of it on my phone I have it yeah I record it on my

phone the whole thing so I’ll sell you a bootleg copy did you now I’ve recorded some of it oh I wish you would have I I

was so nervous because they were like this was when uh because we were a fox this is right Wendy remembering all the

that the information from Fox got released oh yeah and like all the emails North Korea stuff North Korea stuff and

all that so this is when when I was doing it this is what happened so when they sent me a copy to watch it like to

go through it and edit it it was like I would have approval to watch it it’ll only be I would only have it for two

days and then it would just disappear and go away so they were super strict about it so they’re like you can’t film it so when I would I was able to show my

family and stuff and I’d have to watch it and I filmed some of it like on my phone like a couple little scenes of it

and I wish I would have just filmed the whole thing but I was like nervous about you know breaking the rules and now

looking back I would have just done it uh but at the time you’re like well I can’t like they’re not gonna let me like

I don’t want to get in trouble so I don’t really have it I have a I have a couple clips though maybe

let me just see what happens if I would show let me ask I want to make sure like I could show some clips but I also don’t

want to show clips and then uh I just get y’all gonna see yeah welcome to

we’ll have 40 ads in this podcast I’m paying back I’m paying back 20th Century

Fox 70 million dollars because I showed just to make Noah happy

and Nick you did a pilot with Matthew Broderick right yeah yeah a long time ago where could we see that nowhere yeah

you can’t I mean I’ve done so many Pilots yeah I’m like up at the uh like

George Clooney pilot level yeah you wouldn’t can you say what like

Matthew when you felt like it wasn’t gonna go good I mean there was definitely a moment

where um we did the first take of the live you know taping yeah and um in the whole

scene’s just me and Matthew like it’s like we’re meeting each other for the first time and and I’m like this like

big and I’m like all over the place and it’s a live you know live audience and after the take I was just

alive I felt like I just my my body my blood was pumping and I was like man wasn’t that amazing and he just like

looked at me and he goes tired and I looked over and I was like

somebody get Mr Broderick an espresso you know oh yeah because that was also a bit that him and I’ve been doing all week about like getting each other

espressos yeah and I thought he was kind of doing the bit and he’s like I don’t know man it’s just like is this thing good oh wow I was like well I don’t know

what this Show’s gonna go but uh yeah and it would have went it was I don’t

know if it was on him there was a few things about it yeah that show was crazy because Pat and Oswald was the one cast

in my role and they then he he left or whatever yeah and then they they cast me

and I never met Pat before that and then he sent me a a Facebook message yeah saying like congrats I thought it was

the coolest thing yeah we’ve ever done yeah that that’s how brutal that world is I’ve been on the other end yeah I’ve

been fired and then yeah yeah what do they do they just come up and like I got a phone call less than 12 hours before

taping a CBS pilot that said hey man uh my manager goes hey buddy and I’m like

you never says that yeah you can always tell when your manager’s got bad news bad news and good news you can always

tell it is like a marriage you can just go well you don’t talk like that yeah and then you know something’s about to

you buddy yeah it’s like I know if like if it’s like hey so-and-so is also on the line I’m

like oh this is good news yeah but this is just your manager saying hey buddy and your doctor’s on the line yeah yeah

we patch Nick’s Doctrine so we found a lump yeah in your career yeah and it’s

gross and it’s bad yeah and it’s bad um and it’s this pilot and you’re fired yeah yeah yeah I remember I just I went

on a walk after I got that call so what do you say so they so you just to give

people that don’t know about the pilot you audition as an actor you go audition for that I didn’t audition for this one

oh yeah TJ Miller okay we both got offered the show as a Duo together and

uh yeah they call and fire me and then they ended up postponing the shoot and then they hired a blonde Australian dude

to play my role and then it just didn’t go like most shows don’t go yeah um but

it was a really funny book this author anyway yeah it was but I remember on the phone with my manager he’s like yeah

buddy they’re gonna recast you you know and and that’s not the word fired you know I’m like oh

does that mean I’m fired and he said yeah but they’re gonna still pay you

um okay you know well I’ll call you later you know it’s one of those like I

just you sit with it and you’re just a failure it just was the worst yeah yeah cause you’re I mean you’re you’re

that’s the hard part is you’re like either about to be famous and you’re so

close and I’m not not that you’re doing this for famous but just the that’s the easy way to explain it you’re looking at

it like oh I’m about to be famous or they started calculating your your episode rate compared to if it was like

a picked up for a 22 episode season oh yeah yeah well that’s the hard part when you do a pilot they negotiate all that

your first like three seasons usually yeah before you even shoot the pilot or

anything before you even sell the show so you have no leverage at all there’s so much they’re they’re like and so just

so you know in the third season they might use your face as the main face depending on how your character goes or and you’re like what yeah oh they’re

like yeah yeah they’re like third Seasons you’re probably going to own helicopters and you’re like this is

crazy dude that’s my first palette I did was with Kelsey Grammer and he showed up in a helicopter every day really yeah

wow yeah that Frasier money yeah yeah because you mean you you had the option of like I’ll

be wondering yeah how many shows if people knew that’s what people always

say that they should do a network where it’s just like Pilots that didn’t go yeah and just because they’re just

sitting these networks are just sitting on Pilots pilot after pilot of a famous famous

people yeah that did not go like why would you not just start a network and

they all agree we’re just going to pump the pilots on there it’s I’ve been I’ve been on a pilot

before that the week before they announced which Pilots got picked up variety posts in an article like the

forsures and ours was the picture they used of the for sure of the for sure’s

article and we were the only one that didn’t go it’s dude it just I know what you mean

look it it it feels it’s just a failure I remember uh right text or something Zach

Galifianakis like because I was really down and he was always so nice to me and I know he’d like gone through some failure stuff too and

he was just like yeah man I’ve already been fired from like 30 things you’ll be fine yeah he’s like okay okay okay yeah

it’s it’s just uh another one advice if you’re in this

business or if you’re trying to get in whatever it’s like you just got to keep going ahead that’s all everybody’s going

to try to make you quit no one wants you to make it that I do know somebody once who was this this girl and she’s like

really great and really but she wanted to be an actress and just like she put up her SNL thing on like online on

YouTube and it just was not yeah you know it wasn’t good and but she was friends with like some uh actors you

know and one of her friends that was like a big actor got Morgan Freeman to

call and leave a voicemail on her phone because she was considering quitting and Morgan Freeman called and like left a

voicemail that she had that was like never give up and I’m like yeah you should have like at least let him see that SNL video

because now he’s making somebody work when they shouldn’t be yeah it should be

like hey you should give up on this you know like what you’re great at other things you’re great at being a friend yeah yeah yeah yeah

well self-awareness self-awareness is the most important thing you can have in anything and people don’t have it and

then that like they don’t that person doesn’t have it no and then they’re

going to have a life of misery but if you don’t quit and you’re nice you’ll be fine I believe yeah I agree

with that too if you’re a very nice person people want to be around that it’s there’s a lot of times you can be

around comics where you’re like they cannot be funny but you’re like but that guy is it’s a running joke that you go like how’s his act you’re like these are

the best dude yeah yeah you just go that dude is the best yeah but you could be like yeah I’m not you know but but he’s

the best dude and there’s there’s roles for the best dude that and that’s like being a producer when their best friend

gets a show or do you know like they’re the support they’re the one that is there being the best dude yeah yeah

uh heon

is that right I don’t know h-i-e-n-n-g-o it’s Vietnamese it’s

pronounced like the end silent in in Geo in Geo NGO NG Oz

I like that that’s a good last name especially saying it like yeah n in Geo

that’s a good name Ian in Geo no

no that’s what you got do you guys watch do you guys watch the Mandalorian no uh no

some no no because that would make you laugh though oh really yeah uh I’m a big fan of Nate my question that I would ask

Hanging with dirty comedians

Nate if I ever got to talk to him is how he’s able to hang with all of the comedians out there

they are astronomically dirtier than they they all drink and God knows what get crazy and really go at each other I

just wanted Bobby Kelly’s probably I just wanted Bobby Kelly’s podcast and Nate arrived but Lewis Joe Bobby and Dan

how do you relate to 99 of the comedians out there because all of them seem to really love you well that’s very nice no

set look you just I mean I started with those guys you just be yourself the everyone that you mentioned Louis Joe

Bobby Soder Jay like all of them they’re exactly who they come off to be so

everybody gets along when no one’s being fake and that’s and that’s what it all boils down to when someone’s fake then

that’s the person that doesn’t fit in but they accept me look I thought a lot about that at the beginning when I first

started I didn’t want anybody to know I was clean I was always clean I never mentioned it never said anything about it and I mean that’s what I kind of want

now even like when people listen to this podcast we talk about being clean more now than ever but you know it’s like the people listen to

this podcast it’s like if someone’s listening to it you should be able to listen to this what the way this is what I want to do with clean comedy is to go

it it you don’t even have to say it’s clean it’s like it’s just comedy dude

like this it’s done this way just like theirs is done that way and I know it’s just easier to kind of like go this

one’s clean that one’s dirty I understand that but the idea of it is like you should be able to like listen

to it even if someone was dirty you shouldn’t even think that if you think oh they’re dirty that’s not always the

best thing you should never be you should be like never be funny uh so I

started with all of those guys uh they took me in uh you know or I mean Bobby

was Bobby took us a lot on the road uh Soder Lewis was probably right Lewis uh

was with me with the very very very beginning Bobby was older list came in uh right after and Soto came in right

out but barely right after I just was moving in and we all just came super close Super Friends and I was just clean

they never no one ever cared uh you know uh I had told I took Lewis on the road

once at college and I was like you got to be clean like I’m getting this kick because I’m cleaning I’m nobody like you know and so I was

like but they they you know they’re supposed to be clean Lewis was like I can be clean and goes out and just you because they told me to be clean but do

y’all care about that and then of course everybody goes no and then he’s just dirty and then we get a they write a

letter to the school apologizing for Lewis it would have been uh

much worse now than it was Giannis once got it we did college and they had a

they had a sit-in Giannis we want to talk about when the honest was on the podcast he said something and they had

like a protest but this was like back because of what he said yeah yeah

what was it uh uh you know I think someone was you

know gave someone a name someone was uh maybe Hispanic and he made up a Hispanic

name or something yeah but everybody laughed except that person right which whatever

and then they the next day they had to sit in but this was back when it is like there’s no social media it wasn’t like

it was now so like your sit-in just really just happens at the school it was in that paper it could have pounds paper

it could have been the other way around though where the person that he did it to laughed and then everyone else like

didn’t think it was funny because that oh that was offense you know like it’s like like I have a joke about a one-armed lady and people have been like

afterwards like hey you should probably shouldn’t tell that people have one I’m like you know the only you know the people that have told me they love that joke or like the five one-armed people

that I’ve been at my shows yeah like that’s the best joke I’ve ever heard yeah because it doesn’t offend them because that’s just they’re just you

have a lot more one-armed people you’d be surprised you don’t know how many people have one arm in your eyes

yeah word’s getting out too they’re coming to hear this you gotta start doing these jokes so you find out yeah

that you’re that’s your most relatable joke that tell me when aren’t people in your crowd

this lady uh she was upset because she left and that’s when Jana said that uh

John Lund first ever fax machine aka the printing telegraph was invented in 1843 Abraham

Lincoln was assassinated in 1865. the samurai were officially abolished in

Japanese Society in 1867. this means there was a 22-year window where Abraham

Lincoln and the samurai could have been faxing each other that’s crazy

how did they invent a fax machine bin yeah I’d like to see what kind of I’m guessing it worked a little differently than the ones we think of like what did

it do like similar facsimile machine yeah like someone pulled the paper through then they had to run and get in

the boat yeah and then lay in and hand them the paper there’s no way The Print no it’s the same way that they

renting Telegraph here it is it looks almost like a piano yeah

but it couldn’t have been that it’s like radio waves or whatever that you are just probably doing like the same yeah

and then it transcribes it for you yeah yeah I’m trying to decide we want to go over those poll results or do the yeah

do the yeah yeah let’s just do the the poll Resort okay I can save this again yeah yeah yeah yeah all right so so

we’ve been doing uh uh an animal bracket yeah we got this

Listener poll results

bracket here someone just sent us this bracket we did not go through and make it any better or worse they didn’t think

we’d dedicate three months of the podcast today yeah we’re just getting started they truly assumed we would just

move on with our lives but we have uh I’ve enjoyed it

we’ve had a lot of comments about it do we have any like uh we’ve got more comments I mean at the time of this taping where

just on YouTube 420 comments and I think it’s the third most ever yeah comment

wise number one was when uh Mark Norman was on yeah number two was

the Cal gate most of those were directed at you yeah yeah and then this one yeah and uh but

there’s about four things that everyone’s saying which if we go over these poll results we could just cover them yeah I should cover something up

top I’m taking a lot of heat for how I said the word wolf well that’s one of them if you want to show last week yeah

I I said woof woof whole episode people lost their mind oh yeah I didn’t even

notice it yeah yeah and the other like why didn’t they correct them I didn’t know I said the word incorrectly but now

I’ll be thinking about it the rest of my life wolf there’s an Ellen how did the wolf fight

the wolf this was the closest one whoa this was the closest one do you have the poll results I do I have the wolf the

cheetah and the Wolf the cheetah one on Instagram the cheetah won 55-45 he’s recording the fans these

people are crazy but I disagree with that on Twitter the wolf beat the

cheetah 54.6 that’s that’s that’s who okay you think the Twitter people yeah

which one had more votes Instagram I don’t have the number there but it was there’s a lot more people on

Instagram yeah it’s like if you were to watch a like a Pit Bull against a cat you know it’s like yeah take this the

dirtiest dog I took cheetah last week but based on people’s feedback I’ve

switched to Wolf yeah ow man what a man of principle over here yeah listen to the data and I I’m open-minded enough

heard what people say and I want the most people to like me so I switched over to wolves wow the cheetah dude I

pulled up that picture of the cheetah’s mouth and nobody was swayed by that at all I mean it’s terrifying looking but

like you said a dog versus a cat no one would think a cat can beat a dog well yeah we’re talking about a very specific

type of dog in a very specific type of cat I mean that’s a yeah the scariest

dog the skin it’s wolf is not even top 10 scariest stars and cheetahs aren’t even well

hyenas coyotes wolves kill hyenas yeah I did coyotes are more obviously coyotes

are like a pet coyotes are like small Wolves yeah

first of all the cheetah is so I mean we don’t have to relitigate this whole match up I know it’s been but I just a

cheetah could just outrun the wolf but out running something doesn’t have to anything to do with yeah fighting yeah

it’s about winning they don’t have endurance though I think they actually like can run right actually have a lot they they do not have great endurance

but you’re not gonna need a whole lot because the wolf is so they’ll just run really fast so they’re fighting in the uh as they’re running them in the Roman

column that’s how we’re visualizing okay and then so yeah the cheese gonna run around for a while eventually get Time

Imagine The Wolf in the middle just kind of just like waiting yeah are you done you keep running and then just goes over

and just rips it up like nice spots now everyone was really obsessed about

the way he’s pronounced well some people hyena the way you say hyena well that sounded all right I think they were you

were living without a syllable last week oh probably hyena or maybe hyena

but that was a very close one I mean yeah I know what was that matchup I think everybody should understand if I

mess up something I don’t think it should be coming at all yeah yeah yeah I think a lot of people did let it slide yeah yeah I think everybody I don’t

think anybody’s even they expect more out of you there was one new guy never heard senior before he goes he’s saying

hyena wrong you’re like yeah dude are you not he doesn’t want to read yeah but Aaron would expect more Aaron went

to college did you go to college Nick no yeah yeah any

uh a semester of Community College yeah that’s why y’all are friends yeah but I

didn’t get accepted or anything I just my I uh did you remember taking the placement

test where they’re like hey um we just want to know what you know so we don’t like what you you know yeah and

I just kind of skipped through that not really thinking and I showed up to my first day of class to english072.

which I realized like five minutes in was English as a second language class

so you know based off my placement test they thought I was fluent in a foreign

language yeah it’s pretty cool yeah yeah the teacher’s like I don’t think you’re supposed to be in here I’m like ah I think that’s my call yeah I’m gonna hang

out I feel like a leader just nail it yeah finally yes if Nate was in that

class how many days before they caught on maybe this guy yeah they might never catch on they may never yeah

yeah I wouldn’t know when to say you get a B minus uh what’s the I got a non-complete in all my classes and NC

was my grade wow dude what is it called when you use like

don’t and contraction contraction yeah

thank God that I have those in Spanish yeah yeah yeah Spanish doesn’t he’s contract just Spanish has contractions

they don’t probably use contractions I’ve been blanking on that name contractions I dude I’ve I’ve I was

going to say it a bunch of times in a joke and for some reason I knew it was c-o-n something but I couldn’t remember

what it was never looked it up never asked thought I’d do it publicly

and then I’ve just been sitting there because I usually get contractions out like when Laura writes something that I

have to read a lot of times contractions I’m I’m not good with it do not I I like

I need to say the whole word that was I mean I don’t think I’ve even heard or said contractions in a long

time I know you don’t say it as much but you do it a lot but you do everyone does

it a lot everybody does it a lot yeah everybody does but I won’t it’s like

allergies you know yeah pretty good timing uh what’s that so I said it’s like allergies you get them but you

don’t understand them you know you don’t know what you have but you know you got it but you got it yeah something feels

wrong something is not right I wish I could put a finger on it yeah

I get it what’s uh there’s another one uh polar bear tiger wow this was pretty consistent on both

social medias I think we all took the side of the polar bear except for Nate Nate wanted to fight for the tiger I was

leaning tiger at first and then I got swayed yeah I just don’t think this one’s close man people just point out

polar bears are meaner than Grizzlies they’re they would be a grizzly in a fight they said yeah Grizzy I don’t

think they would I think a grizzly bear would beat a polar bear I think it’s the opposite look up just grizzly bear be

bullet I think that polar bears are more I think they have two attackers have won

grizzly bears are very aggressive this one says when it comes this is okay

Wildlife boss says when it comes to a fight grizzly bears are more likely to come out on the winning side due to

their larger size and more powerful jaws that can exert over a thousand PSI of bite force

okay Grizzlies having uh omnivorous diet whereas polar bears are exclusively

carnivores omnivorous both yeah why is that I don’t know why does that matter

that doesn’t seem like it because well I think that’s why our polar bears are more dangerous to humans because yeah

they’ll eat you but if they had a fight together oh look at this they’ve this is actually a study conducted in 2015 found

that grizzly bears were dominant when competing with larger polar bears for a beached whale carcass so they’ve

actually seen this thank you okay all right but that’s not what we’re talking right now about a polar bear versus a

tiger but that adds into our element of this thing because this is

what everybody’s saying so like everybody’s just knocking off a tiger like a polar bear is polar bears

drinking Coca-Cola yeah you know right the poet like a grizzly bear is just like much more

aggressive type in for polar bear in a tiger fight just to see the scientific

yeah because we’re there was an occasional one that would say a tiger with those big claws One swipe would be over yeah the polar bear has an

advantage we I think we did look this up when we were talking about the polar bears any metric power jaw strength skin

thickness the polar bear tops the Siberian tiger the Siberian

Tiger’s faster but we already argued we’ve already concluded speed means nothing in this it does we’ve already

concluded that we’re in the Roman Coliseum who cares about speed type cares about maneuverability you could uh

speed matters if you were you know like there’s two different kinds of speed there’s like if you’re a swordsmith like

or swords whatever they call you quickness yeah if like if you’re quick like that or but or running you know

like yeah what uh type in uh uh polar bear what

piping polar bear wait what no uh cheetah versus wolf see we didn’t look that up no we’re

gonna look up some uh uh they’re about the same size the cheetah

has the advantage in claws that are much more effective weapons than a wolf’s claws uh additional cheetah can generate force

with each bike compared to whatever that means no that’s this thing doesn’t know what he’s talking about and they’re

they’re about the same size they both get up to about five feet long they both weigh 160 pounds the wolf has

short claws but strong jaws with sharp teeth but that’s when the cheetah is the fastest lane animal in the world but

they are speed Hunters not Fighters a wolf’s a fighter dude but also wolves are in packs you know so maybe one wolf

against a cheetah a wolf might be like Hey where’s the other guys you know yeah

it’s literally a lone wolf that was the wolf is it a gray wolf the one that

we’re looking at I think I think so we’re saying so yeah I think we’re just saying a common all right you know dime

a dozen not impressive at all yeah wolf we’re not doing black white wolf we’re doing a gray wolf

foreign

yeah this is we talked about a platypus versus an anteater wow okay this one

really got people fired up maybe even more comments than his wolf yeah platypus as so many people point out

they have venomous hind legs wow so we did not mention that last we didn’t know

that but we picked the anteater yeah but they’re saying platypus has venomous hiding legs they would use that to

defeat it I don’t even think the plasma gets an opportunity to do that how thick

is that anteater skin though yeah well it’s got to be I think Danny is going to realize something’s going on when the

Platypus is taking a long time to turn backwards [Music]

I don’t imagine they’re quick I mean he’s like he’s coming backwards and he’s like you

better not be there he backs up like a mailman yeah yeah he backs up like a

mailman Danny is like what are you doing dude come on and he just keeps walking in front of him and that’s all the Platypus has got because he needs to be

like no no get behind me let’s start like this yeah yeah I am curious how they use that in a fight the venomous behind legs but I

guess they know how and I think it might have just been the mail oh okay so does it matter what sex we’re

having we’re having be the yeah venomous hunt legs okay we’ll we’ll let them have that

but yeah I don’t I mean this platypus just looks so good

why is it they don’t get any legs it can’t get because I’d imagine because it’s in water so they would swim or

something so the anteater gets in the water then like where it’s going to be in trouble but uh

look at that guy’s hand yeah cut a little platypus it’s not that big of a you know look they’re showing a guy it’s

like he you know he missed half a day and he’s back to work I mean he’s it’s not it’s not like poison like it’s it’s

not it’s not like it’s like a snake scorpions are gonna yeah but scorpions are just then like it’s like getting

stung by a bee yeah yeah that’s how this is so the anteater is just so much more powerful

but now I don’t know I mean it was a CL I thought we had a close argument last week and we finally went and eater so that should be enough to sway the other

way yeah here’s a good diagram of where that Venom comes from there a little dispenser right there above the

claws I’m still going and a lot has got a lot has to happen for that the

Platypus you gotta imagine bastard’s backing up look I think it’s

gonna be a good fight I think it’s going to be worth the price of admission it’ll be better fight I

think people think it’s not going to be a good fight and the people would be like wow that was actually one of my favorite fights yeah but the anteater

comes out and wins okay the next one we got up here we got an eagle versus a barn owl I mean we went Eagle no problem

I think Dusty tried to fight for a little bit for the bar now not even close but he did yeah that was the

occasional comment saying you don’t know how mean barn owls are and somebody sent us a video of a bar now swooping in and

stealing an eagle’s baby from The Nest it was pretty crazy yeah but I mean it’s pretty dominant

overall overall people like eagles 89 11 on Twitter I mean that’s pretty much a

consensus there’s that whole thing about bald men getting murdered by owls have

you heard of this I have a joke about it you do yeah right Eagles oh I heard oh

not out but I have a joke about eagles they swoop down and hit uh bald men in

the head because oh that’s why yeah

you’re still doing better than this I think I now remember where I heard that yeah yeah I’ll tell you all about it

yeah well it’s also the uh the owl theories with that documenting the

staircase oh yes that’s it yeah yeah that’s where they because when you hear that you’re like I remember when I first

heard it Joe Zimmerman uh on his new uh special when it comes out Greg Warren

specials out right now go check that out uh Joe Zimmerman specials coming out soon he has a joke about that the

staircase with the owl because they kind to briefly like talk about it and then you’re like there’s a lot of things that

sound like if you watch the document of the staircase uh there’s there’s a things in it where you’re like dude this

owl could have really been what happened it seems like that’s what happened but I

mean there’s other cases that you go well no it’s not nice I found owl feathers in her hair microscopic yellow

feathers yeah but I mean that could come from just they have a lot of owls in the backyard that could be you know I don’t

know is this a murder or something yeah yeah yeah we have done it yeah no that was like a

fringe theory that started on Reddit but they mentioned it in in the when you

watch the documentary but then they just very briefly mention it then they don’t they move on from it and they don’t

really talk about it so you have to go to Reddit to like look it up and like or like be like well why are they not

talking about this yeah as an option but the thing that hurts the most is the guy

also had another lady die downstairs yeah yeah yeah and that is his other

Ex-Wives yeah his other ex-wife fell downstairs and died so all that being said you’re like it could

be the owl r insane like if an alhammer in court

and even thou did it this picture of both of them in court house in court this guy’s in court

and the judges got that one he’s got the one yeah he because they tell him to

dress up because he’s going yeah he’s got the monocle because he’s going to court so he’s in court and now is like I

totally got this lady and uh then the guy’s like I mean there’s Al stuff in it

and they’re in the AL just goes show me where I’ve done this before that’s all he has to keep saying he goes

hey uh real fast what happened where’s your other is your ex-wife coming to this she’s not because she also was

pushed downstairs I mean you have no chance yeah and then he’s like they the TR the stairs are

also on trial yeah the stairs didn’t show up well you know what’s crazy about

that documentary is that the filmmaker and the guy who it’s about

fell in love while making it um but the filmmaker and the guy the

person who filming the documentary is supposed to be an objective documentary and the guy being accused of murder fall

in love yeah so when I found that out I was like wow that kind of makes the

whole thing the same he sounds like he maybe he was just trying to tip the scale a little bit like yeah this you know get her to like yeah did uh uh

she’ll really push this out there did they did but he went to jail is he in jail he’s in prison yeah yeah are they

together still or they’re I don’t know but they had a relationship and they show that in the show no it

came out afterwards yeah it’s presented as this kind of now if she gets murdered by an owl while he’s in jail yeah that’s

insane let’s get that guy out let’s get him out that’s good enough that would be wild

one of Joe Biden’s pardons yeah this is the owl guys

and he just goes well he had I mean we saw the documentary we watched it I

believe it’s not Joe Exotic he’s still in jail running for president running

for president in jail did anybody uh was there another person yeah there’s at least one more isn’t there uh yeah oh yeah so this is

so Nick yeah we had uh a lion versus how

people said we said emu wrong too they did but I don’t know how you’re supposed to say it

um somebody somebody in Australia said I mean you oh we’re not gonna trust them

um you eat they say everything wrong down there we say emu and they say in

you emu ah that sounds wrong dude it just sounds like saying like cell phone or cell

phone yeah now well first of all those are results they still picked the line even

with emu with a gun but you’ve got something going for you uh Nate many many people pointed out

that in Australia in the 1930s there was a war against the emus and the emus won

wow they were taking over I think a lot of Farmland it was becoming a real problem they caught the great emu War

and the Australian government military went up against them and lost yeah so

wow what strategy to the uh Amusement use so they know how to use a gun maybe

yeah I meant to look that up so like so we had it and emu has a pouch in his

neck so then I claimed that the Emu uh it was has a gun and he fought the line

and he won with the gun while a number of the birds were killed the E mule population persisted and

continued to cause crop destruction so they were just tearing up yeah Farms all over Australia

that’s a military operation yeah they couldn’t even do it big time now the War lasted one month one week in one day

yeah and then the Australian government uh surrendered and they go

you know what our country animal is the Emu that’s what happened they probably just had to give in yeah

yeah and emus go I want to be on your flag and they go all right will you not eat all our crops they go a

little back off the cross yeah a little but we’re back off the crops but you

have to treat us a little more respect we lucked out having an eagle yeah you could have had the emus you could add an

emu so they were already having problems and then 20 000 new emus showed up

because they they migrate after their breeding season so they just started coming in and droves I mean airing up

Farms dude that’s the thing emus are I think maybe that’s why I say emu that’s probably where they’re saying I’m saying

wrong and emu I say moo emu so this is the guy that Infinity used

and there’s a what a great idea he had yeah such a

good idea but so with this background what is it go

ahead okay so the first attempt right they had a group of soldiers and they

found 50. and the birds scattered so they were difficult to Target they ended

up killing perhaps a dozen out of 50 and they’re armed with guns these emus are

evasive that’s what I mean and now it has a gun yeah

so we had the Emu was has a pouch and no one frisked the immune’s neck and it has

a gun in the pouch and that’s why he beats the lion so it’s hard for him to get the Lions it’s hard for him to get

him and he has a gun yeah so that’s why the Emu still wins

with the gun I’m looking for numbers of how many they killed and okay so right

here the bounty system instigated in 1923 57

000 bounties were claimed over six month period so listen

human beings took out 57 000 emus and they still were just like we have to give up yeah but who won the war behemus

you yeah they you might have won the fight they won the war they spared 57

000 Euro and they’re like they don’t care it’s fairly Adept yeah yeah apparently they’re making a a comedy

movie about it with Rob Schneider that’s supposed to be produced this year oh and all those emus are in heaven with 72

virgins yeah so Heaven might be crazy crazy amount

yeah uh yeah I look I I think the Emu still wins

he has a gun yeah I mean we’re not changing it but and then the I don’t think I did the poll but the Orca well excuse me killer whale versus great

white shark everyone said there’s a lot of video out there of killer whales killing great white sharks just for fun

that’s what we said yeah I think we all said that so we got that one a killer whale is a problem I’ve I’ve I’ve uh

interacted with one oh wow look up uh no if you’re looking at Pilots that didn’t

go on YouTube if you look up Nick soon interacts with a killer whale well

um I was in Canada and uh these there was like four babies

and they were I was crabbing and this thing was like that close you know it seems

like no big deal but like I can’t believe I’m looking at a killer whale kind of feeling too and then it just

keeps coming closer this shoe filming yeah yeah and um

that’s getting very close wait wait right now it’s like oh wait where is it gonna be now oh I’m in like a 16-foot

boat by the way and it just goes ahead and goes right under my boat well you could reach down and then now is just

like the Silence of like oh my god when I mean it could flip your boat yeah yeah

and then all of a sudden are you freaking out at this yeah I was like short of breath I didn’t know what was

happening are you by yourself no my uh

my my ex-father-in-law was in there that’s actually what caused a divorce

the way he handled it versus the way you handled it uh then it just went away and then you

didn’t see it anymore uh no then we actually ended up seeing it for like the rest of the day oh really yeah like it

was just around but apparently so but the reason that it did that is because we were too close to the babies so it it

um it was like letting us know like hey man you know yeah but we weren’t I we were there when we saw them it wasn’t

like I was encroaching yeah yeah it’s I’m surprised that he didn’t get that I know

yeah he should the killer should have been like he’s like yeah obviously dude we know the babies are here I had just

pulled the crab thing into and like it was right over that edge and I was thinking like what if I was halfway with the crab and the killer whale just

caught a hold of that yeah yeah just you’d be gone wow that is crazy dude is

it just like so seen it that close you’re just like they’re so big and beautiful yeah oh God it was so gorgeous

it’s Dev and then you feel how small you are and how quickly everything could have just ended he could have just

flipped you over with his tail and just went about his day that tail got so close yeah wouldn’t even go to jail for

it no no one no one would try to find him no I mean yeah and they’re probably tough

you know by the way great camera work too I would say it was it was pretty good I’m

definitely scared yeah you know yeah but you got to get those hits on social media

keep rolling wow yeah uh yeah well I look forward to getting

back into the uh it asked me to tag it afterwards said hey can you tag me yeah well you know

they are we had one comment saying please don’t do animal fights it’s not funny but I’m not saying that they’re

necessarily they signed a waiver we’re not saying this that they that they even die but they just fight until one of

them Taps out and what did somebody say it was like inhumane to I think that’s what they were implying yeah well I gave

an emu a gun yeah so it seems fair I think we’re

I don’t think I don’t think anybody’s taking it very serious when i have an emu that I can’t pronounce yeah with a

gun people aren’t supposed to be concerned about animals killing animals yeah that’s just what they do that’s

what they do yeah but I guess in this situation we are forcing them scrabbing them and dropping them in the Roman cups

they’re all I mean what do we think this is like a Russell Crowe situation where he was put into slavery and then yeah no

I think these animals are signing up and I think it’s not enough there is prize money we got a hold of their agent the pride of their species is on the line

yeah yeah we saw your Lions tape look good yeah we’d love to see him in the

ring yeah I agree yeah yeah it’s everybody’s there for their own yeah it’s like it’s like acting like Mike

Tyson got forced into the ring or something yeah it’s like no yeah it’s like that born to do that these are these are these are the UFC fighter

animals of their group this is what they want yeah that’s a good way to think

about it and not every country is being represented that’s right it’s like the Olympics yeah yeah it’s true now that

would be interesting though if it was like if it was like okay a lion that Nui was in there against a reluctant tiger

it was like I was I didn’t sign up for this you know that’s a different type of fight well you feel bad for the line

because the line is pretty shocked to the Emu was allowed to bring a gun in

and so but that was that was a big uh I didn’t know we could have guns yeah and

I said and I think going forward there’s a lot more frisking yeah and a lot more yeah they they they they did not they

frowned upon that yeah uh he’s not gonna be able to do it again next round next round they go I mean they’re gonna do we

know who the gun was registered under no that’s a good question that is a good question I think the cereal never goes fouled off yeah yeah I think he maybe

got it from like some sort of a fake Buy-Back program that it ran outside yeah 7-Eleven or something yeah well

that cheating wolf did we give it to the cheetah oh you just switched we ended up giving it to the wolf now you’ve been

hyping up this Wolf the whole time but just know that it’s got the Emu in the next round by the way what is that one

just stretching a little bit it looks like it’s feet are up on a table just like yeah it’s trying to look cute yeah

it’s like it’s a pet it’s just like a regular animal the cheetah is a warrior

wait are we you we’re switching it no we everyone agreed on the wolf except me I think last week we never definitively I

thought we said let’s sit on it and yeah oh yeah but wait so now it could be wolf against emu and the Emu does it have the

gun still no now at first oh we vict okay that did happen the judges and we’re not happy with that okay but I

mean he gets to keep going yeah but I mean the Lion’s dead the Lion’s dead it’s a shocker I mean it is it is blown

I mean he killed it he killed it with the gun I mean people are blown away I mean people I mean Vegas the odds in

Vegas or I mean you know they’re like do we even have to pay right because of the people that bet on the Emu I mean he had

a gun one guy bet gun yeah one yeah yeah so uh yeah it’s gonna be tough so we got

some good matchups coming next round we got some good matches still working through the first round of this bracket yeah I can tell you I’m going to try to

make uh the opposite of what everybody’s saying he did a good job I mean you

I mean you convinced us to vote for the the Emu right

well that’s convinced that it had a gun it’s a form of convincing yeah uh we

could also rattle through this and do the real answers and be done in one second so or we could have a good time

End of round 1

are we not gonna do one right now like we can do one right now let’s do uh what

you uh let’s see go down not let me see what’s um uh

that’s a fun one uh elephant and a rhino now we’ve also pointed out Nick it’s not

like a college basketball 16 versus one whoever put these together seems to put two pretty similar animals in the first

round against each other so some Heavy Hitters going out in the first round yeah yeah there’s some bizarre match-ups

on this yeah is that a that’s a baboon versus a turd let’s do that one we’ll do

that one for you Nick I’ve actually been around a baboon before oh all right let me look up Nick through interaction yeah

yeah it is they are scary yeah because they they look they’re walking around

yeah basically yeah like they look the way that this one approached me it looked like like the way that a

basketball player would approach like a dunk on a dunk contest yeah you know like they know what the Hoops is where they’re gonna jump and yeah

they are yeah yeah they’re very human-like monkeys make me uncomfortable just how

human they look yeah I don’t like looking at them you go to the zoo you’re just a little

well it’s hot isn’t it I mean it’s not that they’re they got those butts too yeah yeah they got a lot going oh geez

yeah uh one just yeah what is this video this is just some baboons baboons yeah I

forgot the name uh contraction and the

baboons uh uh yeah I think baboons are mean dude I

think baboons are but I think turkeys can be mean look at the way they’re scaling that wall yeah and there’s no

walls like that so a victim here’s you mean you may you may you may give me some turkey stuff go ahead okay

if I go in here will y’all hear it on the air yeah probably so I should go somewhere else yeah all right y’all keep

going all right all right see ya uh finally get the podcast good uh

turkeys are dangerous turkeys are dangerous so I would say here’s something that I was even thinking about

the fact that turkeys can fly that’s going to change the way this fight plays out because the baboon’s going to be

climbing up on stuff domesticated turkeys they don’t well we’re talking about it we’re talking

about a wild I’m in the meanest wild heavier imagine these animals have competed in their own prelims we got the

best of the best going up yeah I like to think it was adopted by a a domesticated family but it’s wild yeah that could be

true I mean so it’s been it’s learned you know I don’t know got an education right right right it can hold its own

they fly up to 55 miles per hour these turkeys can fly wow so yeah golly that’s

crazy they sleep in trees they can change colors yeah you know how like pitching how like this

year somebody threw like 108 miles an hour yeah you know uh our turkeys is always going to be at

55 or there’s some that are doing new things going even getting up to 60. it’s very

fast their eyesight covers 270 degrees I mean that’s like a great vision great

vision have three times better Vision than humans yeah so it means that they’re like their

eyes are protruding yeah so that could be actually a bad though the baboon could just knock one of those eyes out

that’s a tough stat there at the end 46 million turkeys are killed every year for Thanksgiving so it’s just like yes

thank you I’ll be honestly I’m not a fan of Turkey it’s my it’s for me I’ve always thought

this it is not the star of the show at Thanksgiving meal I’m a ham it’s I’m gonna decides HoneyBaked sides

HoneyBaked Ham and sides I’m not a turkey person uh I don’t like turkey I don’t think turkey’s ever good uh

I’ve had a good twice I think yeah we’re reading this is a list of on the world

animal protection website trying to get us to eat less meat well I won’t eat turkey so

there you go they were doing our part yeah we’re doing our part yeah I mean look at it like a turkey

fight how they attack I guess they just got their beak we got a wild turkey fight

here yeah oh man I’m good again you got two turkeys going at it

they’re kind of right now they’re going yeah do something do something yeah do something yeah

I mean I’ll be honest with you the fact that they they can uh

uh here’s let me kind of just wrapping their necks around each other right now so I’ll try to I’ll try to I’ll try to

argue for the turkey okay so the baboon everybody’s like this

fight’s done the baboon even is arrogant about this fight because the baboons are very arrogant I agree I mean they’re

arrogant as they come up to people they don’t care so he’s very arrogant the

turkey it’s like people are not even coming to this fight like they didn’t even they’re not even buying this is the

first fight of the day yeah people are showing up late they’re like I’m not gonna waste my time on this fight it’s

pointless that baboon goes in he’s just like walking around and Hines up he’s doing a lot of showing for the crowd

they’re very showman yeah they’re very like uh he’s like yeah climbing the walls and stuff like that he did not do

his due diligence on turkeys do not realize so he climbs

up pretty high they say he goes through the crowd climbs up I mean he’s this is he’s putting on a show

nobody knows that they can fly up to 55 miles per hour this turkey flies and gets

going fast and then just knocks the baboon

off and it falls to the ground and then just comes down 55 miles per hour and

just lands on it and just ends it what about the baboon because the bad you know like a line in there it could jump

but it’s not going to be able to climb like baboons can climb that’s what I’m saying that gets out of what if but what

if it gets like out of the ring and it like climbs up one of the banisters that’s what I don’t know if you were listening when I was talking no I was

watching this it was like exactly what I was saying yeah it was uh

to a team [Laughter]

has climbed up the Coliseum yeah because he’s putting on a show like no one’s

even he’s showing up it’s like when a wrestler stands up in the corner of the Ring he’s doing all that the crowd is

mostly full of other baboons watching Batman like I mean you know humans are

not even in there it’s just basically all baboons have bought these tickets yeah and they’re all in there and it’s

like it’s climbing up the walls and it’s putting on a show and he gets pretty high and starts like climbing across the

top and like you know just uh you know kind of like because the turkey’s like

chasing it a little bit so he’s just like running like kind of mocking it it’s kind of a funny idea too if no turkey showed up and it was all baboons

yeah no no one yeah no one expects no you just said that sauce yeah oh yeah yeah

uh I mean the teeth I mean everything is saying this baboon is 100 gonna win this

fight but I’m saying the arrogance of the baboon is he’s not taking it serious and we and none of us are we are blown

away you’re saying hubris this is fatal flaw that turkey can fly 55 miles an

hour I mean did anybody expect that no I had no idea and that’s what happened I’ve never thought of a turkey flying

I’ll be honest yeah I thought they were like penguins that and the the the the baboon gets high up on top of the

Coliseum he’s he’s climbed up he’s on top crowd’s going nuts to be fair it’s all about business yeah it’s all about

baboons so the crowd’s going crazy and he’s up there going and the turkey’s just on the ground and they’re all

laughing at a turkey and the turkey just starts running he starts running in circles getting some speed going getting

sensitive they’re quick he’s getting some speed going and then lifts off and at 55 miles an hour he gets this baboon

quick and he just boom just hits it off the top it’s like yeah with his claws

and hits it it falls to the ground this Coliseum hundreds of feet in the air

falls to the ground and then uh Slams on it and the turkey kills it and wins and

people are shocked they’re more shocked than the Emu with the gun because a few

people expected the Emu bring a gun they were like you know I’ve been around these Emos a few people knew about the

war in Australia so they go this emus are very gun heavy

so the turkey I mean the baboon just it’s arrogance yeah also caused it to

fall the baboon that they sent in might have been like hey this is just a turkey why don’t we send in this guy you know

he might not be the best baboon yeah well I think they picked one baboon and so but I think the baboon just like he’s

just like he’s like I’m gonna have fun on this fight because if this is this shouldn’t even be a fight right and he’s

like really preparing for who’s he fighting next he’s looking ahead right he’s going to head to the next round

he’s gonna fight the winner of a two Wells two Wells yeah so I mean that’s

tough like I mean he’s been water treatment yeah he’s been yeah he’s water training he’s trying to he’s going after

whale’s eyes and stuff like that he’s just not even remotely thinking about

this turkey it’s a waste of his time and the baboons on the top mocking it

the turkey starts running in circles gets going hits him off it is

the baboons I mean it becomes ah you know what I’ll even give you that the baboons in the crowd then go

kill that turkey a mob a mob of the baboons go kill that

turkey so the winner of this fight we just end up having b in a baboon but

it’s not the original baboon yeah because the baboons but what we the

rules are coming down now we have not liked what’s going on we had one and then we bring a gun and the turkey won

but the baboons in the crowd but the baboon advances the baboon advances because the baboon didn’t attack that

turkey yeah and that’s a shame and that’s and that shouldn’t have happened and I mean as as the the point

I am you know I’m the uh Roger Goodell of this I go I am ashamed right now but

we never saw this coming it’s booed everywhere I get booed everywhere I walk out I go I didn’t see that coming I go

anemu with the gun I I go we frisked these animals it looks more on you now I

know yeah but we know you knew I know but then they’re like why did you let all the baboons get the tickets like oh no one was buying the tickets no one

wanted to watch this fight you did two for one [ __ ] he goes well I

should try to move some tickets no I don’t think it’s that I think it’s the opposite I think it’s like a K-pop band baboons are such big fans yeah they’ll

just scalp them all up yeah they’ll use game time yeah and then they’ll get the seats they want yeah and then but I say

for the next fight the baboons and not no baboon’s allowed to watch the baboon fight well last week you said there’s no

gun what are you doing you’re you’re thinking we learn as we go we learn as we go yeah well we’re learning to go

okay you realize what fun is right I know but you’re a commissioner Commissioners can’t have fun they got to

have some rules here I know but I’m making up the fun as we go you realize that we’re trying to have a good time here and emu got a gun I’ve just made

the bamboo going that’s where we got Peta coming after us yeah we got a lot to work yeah we can also not do this and

just not have any fun but I’m saying the baboon moves ahead Dusty will be surprised on why the

baboon moved ahead I agree he’s not going to realize that the turkey did win yeah but the other baboons got involved

and then they just peer pressured me and they showed up at my house right right they threatened my family twisted

your arm I said the baboon goes on but I made him a deal I go you are not allowed to come to the next baboon fight right

and you’re fighting a well we don’t know which one so you’re fighting no we don’t even know what those whales are yeah

yeah so good luck with that

the baboons have been in there I mean what is the whale gonna do in that Coliseum with water wise he’s got water

you know you’re allowed to have your environments to fill the Roman Coliseum with water yeah and have Naval battles

inside the Coliseum yeah so we’ll fill the first you know half of it’s 30 feet

up with water half of its ocean drop them in yeah and the other half’s not

but you know the baboon’s gonna have to go to the well and the baboon again is still arrogant

yeah but I I but we’re gonna see what I don’t think it’s what’s a new baboon it’s a new baboon and they’re mad but

I’ve not now I’ve not allowed any of baboons what if it’s the baboon’s son yeah well but before it’s we it was all

about baboons watching the fight because no one even wanted to go watch a baboon and turkey fight in the turkey won but

then but now I’ve I’ve agreed that the baboon can move forward but during the baboon fight they’re not allowed in the

fight I think we’re gonna have more trouble with these baboons yeah but it’s right now they’re not allowed in the fight yeah

not not in the baboon turkey fight in Naked Gun uh OJ well not OJ but what’s Nielsen’s

character he like does something stupid and and he opens up a big gate in the zoo in Los Angeles and they’re running

around and the commissioner is like do you realize because of your actions baboons are running over this city and he’s like well isn’t that a fault of the

voters I also like now that I’m going more into

your whole run here you’re assuming that animals are the ones coming to watch these fights no I just made that up at

the moment okay I think regular people are but I think this was a hard ticket to get people to buy because most people

think a turkey is not being a baboon but I think baboons support each other they made a big mistake so yeah maybe now no

more of that animal that’s fighting is allowed to come in at all not just baboons could be and maybe right now

it’s about Boons but maybe we got Lions behind today sorry guys no Lions you hate to single and animal out so maybe I

do say if your animal’s fighting let’s be honest they’re the only ones causing problems so far so far everybody’s been

pretty great a whole pack of wolves watching the cheetah fight and they were fine they were fine they they what you

know the wolves are respectful cheetahs are respectful I mean they’re going like this is what the animals do you always signed up for

I think a gorilla would be more respected it’s baboons baboons are yeah and the problem is you’re probably

gonna have a baboons dressing like gorillas coming in there you go could be a major security problems here yeah we

had a snail be the gorilla though

Nate made a strong argument yeah yeah and what happened no they didn’t like

the grill of fall gorilla scares me almost the most yeah I think yeah

insane because they have features like us is up just huge muscles yeah yeah

uh all right that’s it we gotta wrap it up uh

Where we’re at this week

everybody we love you as always uh I’m gonna whenever this comes out this uh

the next week I’m somewhere on tour I’m out and about come see us adding a bunch of shows it’s great it’s been awesome

it’s fun uh I love it uh go check Greg Warren special out where are you gonna

be uh May 12th and 13th I’m at mic drop comedy club in San Diego May 21st Cap

City comedy club in Austin boom May 26 27th Wise Guys in Salt Lake City that’s

awesome man May 17th and 18th I’m at the Irvine Improv in the Ontario Improv in

California so come on out never been out there it’s awesome I have a new uh

residency I’m doing in La at the um uh the lyric Hyperion great twice a

month yeah starting May 4th and then I’ll be at the Treehouse theater in Deerfield Massachusetts on June 15th and

then the Hereafter in Seattle on June 30th nice all right uh go check everybody out go watch

everybody uh uh Nick Foon thanks for coming in buddy thanks for having me it

was great it was fun it was a bug there I got it uh I won that fight you

Advanced I Advanced over the nap I Advanced over the nap uh so I moved on

the second round we should have one maybe one of us we should have uh that

would throw us in this fight in the bracket just like who could win you know

look at people with a gun you can make a vote if people are upset about this bracket and they want to if since we

took this bracket so seriously if enough people want a new bracket and it can add us and like

or whatever and go through it make it more strategic we can I mean I think they’re really enjoying this one but I

think they want to keep going yeah do some more brag people have sent us their own brackets oh really of animals of

just different things yeah you can all right well as soon as brackets of different things we’re finished this animal send us one of comics fighting I

want to do that one I think there’s already some on there okay yeah good uh yeah Comics fighting is good okay

uh all right uh as always uh we love you and I hope you have a wonderful week

you’re going to have a wonderful week and we will see you uh next week uh all right

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

Nate land is produced by nightland Productions and by me Nate bargetzi and my wife Laura on the audio boom platform

recording and editing for the show was done by Generations Media thanks for

tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast [Music]

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