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hello folks Aaron Weber here running the ship today
with Brian Bates by my side and across the table in Nate’s seat as our old
friend Mike vecchione Mike how you doing thank you guys for having me absolutely thank you for eliminating Nate in order
to get me in that’s the only way we could get you in we saw your List of Demands you said I’m not coming back with Nate well more than that we also
had to get rid of Dusty yeah that’s right I think Dusty’s going for good now right yeah is he yeah we had some irreconcilable
differences yeah some creative differences okay that we won’t talk about on this episode right
he’s gone I wish him good luck in his career wish him good luck with his family but I will never talk to Dustin
yeah I don’t even wish that I don’t wish that on him I delete his number from my phone yeah so wow
that’s a joke some people think it’s yeah no folk Mafia War that’s happening
it’s the first time McCoy’s two members of the band yeah here I believe I know do you feel the weight on your shoulders
to carry this episode Brian this is your this is your moment this is Tom Brady getting called in at the end Bledsoe
gets hurt that’s it you could become the goat after this episode that’s what it takes I thought I already was you
thought that well it’s good to be here Mike I think this
is Mike’s first time on the episode since the special came out is that correct uh yeah no I was on another one
plugging the special oh right I came to plug the special well this is the first episode post plug post plug yeah so if
you haven’t seen it yet first of all get out from under the rock you’ve been living in yes and check out the
attractives on the Nate land YouTube yes page 1.4 million views man 1.4 million that’s
yeah we’re doing good yeah we’re doing really good it’s amazing man so uh thank you guys for watching and please
continue to watch and share that’s the good thing about YouTube yeah Jones came out this week 1.5 million
two days ago I’ve got I got Zimmerman Zimmerman just comes in with all his
bird watching jokes I know and just blows us out of the water it’s not fair yeah yeah
well you were always the first we can always say I was the first if Nate land becomes like Disney like yeah you’ll be
the very first yeah I’ll be in the guy in the documentary yeah they’re calling everything I’ll tell
everything I’ll blow everybody’s spot up as they say today I’m trying to use uh hip terms I’ll blow up everybody’s spot
and I’ll just I’ll say all the things that were happening behind the scenes you’ll be like Jordan though when he
went with Nike Nike was nothing yeah and and Jordan was the greatest but like I’m gonna take a chance on this kid like you
did with Nate yeah I like how everything’s a documentary now it’s like it’s like Jordan took a chance on a
brand it’s like real that is that a story yeah that’s the movie yeah air it’s just
crazy it’s crazy how everything is everything a documentary now is it tweet a documentary what would you rather it
be everything be a book no not everything has to be something how about that yeah
she went pretty hard at it give me your time we’re gonna I want to turn this from a nice Hill folk um
kicking back um straw in the mouth type of podcast to confrontation no Bates you said it what
did you mean uh Mike had a podcast it recently ended it recently ended I ended you know what
happened did you end on good terms or was it I ended up it was two controversial I was the only
person I was the only person it was a podcast suicide I was the only person on
it so I ended it right in front of everybody and uh no yeah I just it wasn’t uh doing
well enough as as ashamed that’s a shame that I am
to admit that it was fun I enjoyed doing it but it wasn’t doing well enough with
numbers so I give you some hard numbers the hard numbers were when I went under
a thousand YouTube views yeah it was like okay what up who am I even doing this for besides the people in the booth
at this point but it was a good idea for a show it was an investigative show but um I don’t
know I I the people didn’t want it so I have to figure something else out I
listened yeah thank you you’re one of those thousands sometimes things are just ahead it was more on the back end
it was more uh more than a thousand it was just a thousand on YouTube that’s the ones that I could see right but I
got the numbers every month but it just wasn’t enough it’s not enough to grow you know we’re on the road trying to sell tickets right it wasn’t enough to
justify you yeah to justify selling tickets like you at some point and uh everybody’s got their Achilles heel and
mine is just not quitting anything and just keep going at it and just keep coming keep coming keep coming and it’s
like that’s not the way as I’ve learned by reading books and you know documentaries that’s not the way
successful people function it’s like now you don’t do that you stop and you pivot and you go in another direction right
you don’t just keep locking myself out of my apartment when I was in Philly years ago and uh I got frustrated so I
just ran into the door I just kept running into the door till my head was Bloody instead of like
looking for a window you know so that’s the mentality that we’re dealing with but I’m trying to change try to Pivot
I’m trying to Pivot into something more successful and not just run keep running into the trying to find the window try
to find the window yeah yeah yeah God opens doors one door closes another door another
door and windows and windows involved a window also opens if we hop into these comments Brian well I was gonna say so
we were just this comes out next week so you were just in Huntsville I believe yeah sold
it all out loved it it’s uh I love the South
and I chose to drive I flew into Nashville drove to Hunter that’s the way to do it’s a beautiful drive yeah Nashville to Huntsville yeah it really
is nice what’s the Highlight the rocket that just got dismantled they took down that
rocket yeah oh then yeah you should have flown yeah why did they take that rocket now I don’t even know but I just saw in
the news where they took it down like last week yeah did you know I know your entire it’s a space huntsville’s a space
yeah I know you love trash and where we’re from and our families and everything no we love it we have science
down here yes you guys don’t actually believe in it but you have it the people at this table do
the Science episode but one of the uh sort of the landmarks
making that drive down to Huntsville is at a rest stop as soon as you enter Alabama there is a a replica of a Saturn
V rocket wow and I don’t think it’s actual the actual size of one I think it’s a little bit smaller see what he
told me but it’s huge and you just see it you’re like I’m driving through rural Alabama yeah Shacks on the side I love
that and then well now you’re being a little derogatory toward the South well don’t you love the contrast you think
Shaq is a derogatory term I think it’s someone living in a shack yeah I do
that beats living in your car that’s true yeah I didn’t call them shanties brick homes
and I think they’re where oh yeah sorry you drive past some manners on the side of the road and then you’ll see
a NASA rocket well that’s a shame they took that down yeah I don’t know why but we took it
down so you’re you missed that that’s why you don’t even know about it because why did they take down the NASA rocket he I don’t no one knows
Aaron’s gonna get it’s a mystery I haven’t made that drive in a while to be honest with you well it’s time to go
good for Huntsville it’s time to for it to go the tourism director says yeah it is greeted people
arriving to Alabama from Tennessee on I-65 for more than four decades wow the state’s tourism director the fact that
it’s been up there for so many years is pretty amazing he says but he’s taking it down he said it’s starting to fall
apart they’ve gotten complaints for years that’s another example of like not to keep doing the same thing but to
Pivot a little bit in order to be successful pivot away from space right away from NASA yeah let’s put something
else up right what do you think would embody the state of Alabama what should we erect at a rest stop in Alabama to
let people know hey you’re here um two cousins
I’m trying to think I’m trying to think all things Alabama like a Nick Saban
statue yeah they say Roll Tide yeah to take it down clean it up and put it back
up it’s a million dollars oh my God that’s a lot of money you gotta take
that especially in Alabama that’s a lot of money cost of living is very low in Alabama tell me I’m wrong
I don’t know the numbers but I did just call her house as Shacks you’re from there see what I’m saying
that particular stretch where you’re approaching the rocket you look out to the right and you think that’s what I
think of when I think of Alabama you know the caricature of the South there’s a little bit of that leaning up
to that rocket if you live in Giles County um Pulaski area just know that was Aaron
saying that oh Aaron you’re from Alabama oh yeah I grew up there okay
mm-hmm well I was in uh I took her I’d enjoy then it is I’m proud of Alabama I’m
proud of what we’ve done okay so you can call them Shacks if you want to that’s
your that’s your family that’s your people they’re my people yeah for sure so I can say whatever I want about them
yeah but you’ve been gone for 20 years no not quite 20. okay I’ve been gone I’m
I’ve almost lived here as long as I’ve lived in now now so there’s a cut off where you know there is a certain point
where yeah I think I say I’m from Tennessee now I’m not from Alabama I bet you do so you’re from Tennessee yeah it
depends on who I’m talking to Tennessee does sound a little better in some but Brian it seems like you’re trying to get the hill folk angry
at him I’m trying to defend them yeah Okay but well
um I was in Jasper Indiana this weekend okay doing the theater there yep how’d that go sold it out sold it out Standing
Ovation awesome I did four hours yeah four hours they wanted more but yeah
like sorry guys you said sorry guys I gotta go they need to close down the building
and you played for uh let’s see who you got here and you lost a Fly ball apparently
because you didn’t put your classes on it in the sun who is that this is the San Antonio Missions huh
yeah there are Padres affiliate okay in San Antonio a semi-pro semi well another
professional so before minor league minor league minor league professional like a triple A so yeah before you come
up Padre you have to go do Mission work no
that’s pretty good Padre does mean father that’s pretty good I was uh I was with Kathleen Madigan this weekend wow
did some shows Eau Claire Wisconsin Madison Wisconsin Chicago Illinois how’d
they go they were I mean I got a stand and go I did four hours
she was pretty upset about it but what’s the longest set you’ve ever done Mike
um I think on my special I did like 80 minutes or so it was edited down yeah I
just wanted to make sure I had you know I was always of the opinion like shoot long and then edit it down yeah which actually in retrospect is a mistake it’s
like why is it because if you have the concise bits the way that you want them and you just execute them the right way
it saves you a lot of time editing oh interesting yeah instead of just like oh let me just shoot everything and then
cut it down and post you know yeah but you’re gonna have to do the editing no I did have to do the editing you did yeah
you have to do it because you can’t rely on someone else doing it because then you would be like yeah that’s not right
yeah well you were given the notes for anything you weren’t dragging them out I have my friend help me and we went
through the special four times so we had to go through it and then and then sent the notes and they did the actual
editing but you have to make the calls on the the right what stays now yeah what stays in and what goes out and
where to cut what and the time codes basically yeah what about you Brian you don’t 30 [Laughter]
it’s a big milestone man doing 25. um you do it when you do headline in
this club you’re doing an hour about an hour it depends on who’s opening for me yeah
um you know if some of these clubs they’ll do guest spots yeah you know it’s the first 10 minutes you’re
chastising the opener you don’t do that on my
get nice and awkward and they go all right guys who’s here for some fun yeah you go well now I got to do an hour
because this guy couldn’t do his time yeah you know couldn’t do 25. I usually do 50 yeah uh but sometimes I do do it
an hour yeah I think the most I ever done was one of those broken record shows in in Nashville yeah and I maybe
did like an hour 20. oh man and that was when I did not have what was that like 4 a.m 5 a.m I don’t remember what time it
was but we did a 10-day continuous show in Nashville oh wow 24 hours a day for
10 days we did something like that at the comic strip years ago we set like uh went for the Guinness wait you know the
Guinness people were there yeah yeah and it was a Non-Stop show how long is it you remember I can’t just accept your
story and go that was amazing I had to counter it with my own thing actually we did that we did that but but better
that’s okay we did it a bigger version of that in New York you guys don’t have much comedy-wise so you have to throw
out a world record yeah world record and uh
yeah so it was a I don’t know if it was I don’t know if it was 10 I can’t I actually can’t remember how long it was
but it was a continuous well the Nashville broke the record at the time and then we broke it ourselves a few
times I think yeah yeah Chad writing and those guys got that set up so that was fun yeah but you would do these long
sets right middle of the night or like 10 a.m were there people in the crowd
there had to be at least 10 in the crowd okay for for Guinness to recognize it oh wow so 10 people had to be in there yeah
we did it legal we didn’t sounds like you just Brian didn’t know how to handle that that size audience
I like it if uh there was a nine people in the crowd at one time and then uh the
thing is not valid so uh the one guy goes outside and just uh puts a B on his
uh chin to try to do the new a new record of all the the beard of bees what oh
isn’t that a world record also remember that I remember I used to have the old Guinness book and that’s yeah he’s just
like I’m just going to Pivot yeah I’m gonna pivot and start a new thing yeah yeah like we failed with the comedy thing right you know and now I’m gonna
do the beard of bees yeah this man had bees on his face for longer than anyone
else on record that seems like an Alabama thing maybe they should replace the um
maybe they should replace the rocket with the bearded bees guy I bet you he how much do you want to bet he’s from
Alabama is Toronto do you want to put money thank you very much oh man Canada you guys should have Batman the opposite
God I’m a degenerate Gambler I’m bet on anything are you gambling a lot no I’m putting the money DraftKings I won’t
even bet on football I’ll just bet on stuff like this like crazy facts that are easily checked
I’ll go beer to these guys is from Alabama you’re like isn’t Killer Bees the comic isn’t he from Alabama he’s
from Alabama ah yeah I knew something was there yeah I was close
you’re right you’re right what are we talking about I don’t even know I don’t know World Records we’re talking about
world records in this set yeah yeah longest one person said didn’t Dane Cook
have it at once yeah dang yeah yeah ten hours right something I think Aaron Burke’s at the record for most sets in a
night right I think he did a documentary on that yeah it was like 50. why does everything have to be a documentary just
answered the question yeah you put it back on me I like that I like that he’s your friend right God
he is my friend I like Aaron okay but you guys you guys I like go watch the documentary yeah I like the contentious
I like the contentious nature of this now yeah you know usually when I’m on here it’s just a very free wheeling it’s
you know but not like the um Attack Mode right well Nate’s gone we could be ourselves a little bit Yeah
I gotta tell you somebody DM me and said and they counted how many times I stacked my papers during an episode wow
and they said they’re gonna do that from now on until I stop doing it and I think I’ve already done it for five times this
episode your dad doesn’t just call you
thank you he DMS me trash talking that’s so funny
I’m sorry you’re from Alabama you don’t have a dad oh just as a jokes come on come on these are jokes
well let’s get into these things so it wasn’t it’s not like not anymore
you died but yeah I’m just kidding the record
his dad uh died of a uh Beast thing we’ve got an unbelievable collection of
comments here that we’re going to read through compiled and read by Brian Bates oh okay a guy who doesn’t read him if
you want me to but I’m saying you’re the one that put this list together yeah Everyone likes to point that out now everyone’s turning on Me on the on the
comments I don’t think we’re turning on you hey two turns on you last week everyone everyone’s got your back dude
well we recorded yesterday yeah you were downstairs you could have yeah I would
have come up here yeah I would have come up here and I would love it if I was invited but I was downstairs and holding
that’s what they call downstairs I know uh yeah so I’ll put these together to see how they go these comments come from
Twitter Instagram YouTube Apple podcast reviews and if you’re an old-fashioned and you want to send one via email via
VIA via VIA nateland at natebar getsy.com
first comment comes from Justin Anderson I’ve done it I’ve done it 12 times already that’s okay don’t let these guys
get in your head you know yeah but doesn’t this feel there’s it does feel good too tell them you’re going to do it
more now that he pointed it out now you’re going to keep him busy since obviously he doesn’t have a job right yeah yeah exactly
Justin Anderson I am 44 and about a year into comedy so I’m on the Brian Bates
plan I love this who is this Punk going after
you Bates Justin Anderson what advice would you give someone who wants to change careers in the comedy in middle
age low expectations lower the bar in your head uh yeah I think that helps now
when did you start how old were you bro I was 35 when I first started oh man this guy’s ancient okay I was 43 when I
quit my day job wow did you start the normal 28. so let’s start later that is
late it started late because I was already a teacher you’re 50 I’m 50 though yeah
yeah I have a breathing problem that’s what happens when you’re 50. well you
automatically have asthma or if you’re 30 and overweight like me I don’t know I guess I would just say Enjoy the Ride
when did everybody start you started at 35 I started at 28 23. oh wow you started young yeah okay you’re right
yeah he started well but the the right age for to develop the skill set true but like you really have nothing to talk
about when you’re that young you know what I mean like uh you have more to talk about when you’re older I feel like
I still don’t and some but it doesn’t seem to matter now anybody could talk about anything just put it on Tick Tock
and you’re a genius I guess sorry bitterness that happens when you’re in
comedy for uh 23 years you get ready to think that about a lot of things Justin
complain about Tick Tock a bunch but you know Justin Leanne Morgan was in her mid-50s when
she blew up now she’s selling out theaters so yeah you never know call me I mean music that it does seem like
there is a plateau where you just you’re not going to probably make it I don’t know why it’s not something fair but
don’t wouldn’t you agree whereas the comedy you could make it you could well comedian making it is a relative term
well that’s true so um yeah but it depends on this guy’s life situation it’s like that’s what I always think
about it’s like do you have a wife and kids you have people depending on you for an income that also matters a great
deal because if you have people depending on you for an income you’re not going to want to quit your job right you know your kids are starving but
you’re out living your dream yeah I quit my job at 43 I was single I’m like if I starve I’m only hurting myself yes right
yeah so I mean you just we all kind of do this on a sliding scale it’s like you
you have a at least a part-time job to make your bills and you do this when you
can do it until you can make some money and that and then it flips then you do
it more and more and more and more until eventually you make the money that you would make if you had a day job yeah I
mean it’s just logical that’s if you’re in your 44 I’m assuming that you have people depending on you I don’t know he
sees on the Brian Bates plan so if he takes that literal Maybe not maybe he’s single he’ll get married in six years
yeah then you could do whatever you want but I assume that you’re an in-cell and that you’re
um you hate the government you’re you’re doing anti-government hate
comedy I think I think the difference is musicians are comedians are not sex
symbols right in the way that musicians are right right yeah so you can’t
but I’ll get some practical advice Justin you’re a year in a comedy you already know this you’re going to be the old guy with these open mics and stuff
yeah which I am now I’m at open mics and stuff around Nashville and I’m I look around yeah I’m one of the oldest dudes
here yeah at 31. so I just that’s going to be tough yeah it
was hard when I first started I’m in my mid to late 30s and all the guys were like 22. right and stuff like that but
um you just gotta get through that Aaron what you should do is um when you’re the oldest guy at the open mic I wanted to
start doing this I would stop focusing on my own career you obviously have a good career but it I would stop focusing
on my own career and I would look at people who are emerging and have something not necessarily the most talented but just have one thing that
stands out because that’s going to matter more and I would do a wouldn’t adopt them but I’d do a conservatorship
with them and control all their Blindside them
that’s it Blind Side all of them and then have like all of these
um kids under conservatorship and then if anybody pops you benefit yeah Tanner Nukem just taking money right become an
incubator yes yes and then I get 10 to 20 of you know yeah of their offer
potential earnings yeah that’s one way to do it Justin that’s one way to do it at 44. yeah that’s the way that’s the
way I would do it we serve leaderships around the board right we wish you luck man hope to see you out there uh in the
comedy world it’s a pretty small world we probably will cross paths stick around if you stick around
I’m gonna meet you at some point next comment is from Val Le favor yeah I
think so la Faber I would say yes that sounds like a fake name it does it
sounds like from an Adam Sandler movie that’s what a vowel the flavor
these is that a Rob Schneider character who is this wondering if you ever get homesick when
you’re on the comedy Road seems like you all often travel with a friend and even sometimes Nate will mention that his
family is along with him does traveling with friends and or family help you to avoid feeling homesick
I try to bring a friend when I can and that just makes everything better too yeah I don’t I like to be alone do you
really really do you like the alone well now you’ve got now you’ve got a young baby you’ve got a wife yeah but do you
bring the baby to open just 15 it’s like it’s just mostly crying and
going to the bathroom but you’re like no that’s his he has the freedom to express it so that’s his act it’s a she thank
you very much women can’t do comedy no I think gender is uh wrong to mention
they yeah the baby they will um the baby is actually an artist the baby actually
sells more tickets than all of us combined but um the baby like you’d be like the baby’s opening they’re like the
baby is here yeah and it’s just your baby yeah crying um and then Brian has to do an hour and
20 minutes for it to Baby crowd and then afterwards like I had to go
clean up your mess literally and figuratively um
I think that’s pretty awesome do you like taking friends on the road um yes I’ll take people because I don’t
have a car in New York so I need to get places but instead of like renting a car
which I could do I always ask whatever whoever booked me if it’s within driving distance like let me bring an opener or
bring the show so that I could hook people up with work you know sounds like but you’re hooking yourself up with a car hooking myself up
with a car yeah Bates thanks for cutting to it but also I need the car but then I want to get people you know who have a
car who want work I want them also to work yeah you know so and also uh so
just if you live in New York City get a car it’s important well no it’s uh parking is insane in Manhattan but um
you mean to open for yeah for me yeah yeah um yes if you’re like Justin Anderson
and you’re 44 and you’re a year into comedy um Val she says the comedy the comedy
Road first of all Val we don’t call it the comedy Road it’s just the road
foreign do we ever get homesick what are we children Val no we don’t get homesick we
make money and we party I love this let’s trash every comment you start off
by saying that’s a well-written comment hey Val can I get a second with you what the heck is this the comedy Road Val do
yourself a favor stop it with the nonsense value right tough love
on all the comments uh it’s the best bringing people on the road is it a wonder that my podcast shut down
that’s what your podcast it was just me screaming at the fans no one likes that
actually everybody actually hates that you name them person by person just call them stupid yeah I like to sit in a dark
room and stare at the wall do you actually no I mean I not that literal but I do
like some alone you like yeah real alone you like to go on a walk alone just around like yeah around around the hotel
parking lot or I mean I told you the one time I usually just uh you and I had
co-headline Wise Guys together less than a year later I was back there I was at the same Hotel everything was the saying
except you weren’t there and I missed you yeah because it’s it felt like yeah where’s my buddy Eric yeah yeah but
generally if I go to some new place I meet new Comics I just like that get to know new people yeah yeah so what’s it
okay the Friday or Thursday is the travel day so we won’t count that yeah but then the next day let’s say you
don’t have any radio in the morning to plug the shows right which is also something we do on the comedy road
though but um it’s just like a Saturday you have two
shows what do you get up and do what a sleep late okay what is late for you because of the baby with a young baby
what’s what’s Sleeping late for you it’s late for me is new Aaron you said a young baby
with a young tiny baby a tiny little guy I would be with one person having an old
baby like just somehow that’s offensive he gets his Benjamin buttons the baby is
Aging in Reverse yeah like Gary Coleman like what do you mean like an old kid I don’t know somehow I would have an old
baby kid uh no not noon but I might sleep till 10 ish and then lay in the bed for an hour looking at my phone okay
yeah and that feels like indulgent for you yeah to lay it just nice and quiet nobody doing anything whatever that’s a
that’s my strip club right there um go ahead and look at your phone then what now that it’s football season I
might I mean I would turn on the TV you don’t even get out of bed no just sit down and watch football and wow well I
mean I might go down get some breakfast yeah eat or whatever come back up watch football I mean it depends on what city
I’m in and oh that is what we’re feeling you catch the end of the continental breakfast yeah to the hotel room man
yeah that’s a that’s a good time yeah it’s the time for college game day to start yeah and then maybe not start but
at least if you’re on the West Coast Football game let’s start at like 9am yeah right like this is an all-day Affair yeah that’s true that’s true but
you raise a great Point man catching the end of a continental breakfast is like a win that’s a big win on The Comedy road
because they’re about to throw all this food away right
you watch three four hours of football then what take a nap I know you take a
nap okay I mean I don’t know no no this is great I’m not judging it this is a Saturday yeah this is Saturday okay okay
yeah we didn’t even cover Friday yeah well it’s one of them is a travel day so it’s muddled you know it’s not a full
day but this is like just full day hotel and then show so uh you should take a
nap you wake up and then and then what it’s got to be getting pretty close to
show time yeah yeah yeah watch a little bit more football squeeze another nap in maybe maybe
it depends on what city I’m in yeah I mean this I’m this Wednesday Thursday Friday no it was it’ll be the last week
I guess it was I’ll be in Pensacola Beach Florida Liam Morgan so I’ll get on the beach yeah hang out down there when
I was in San Diego I went to the San Diego Zoo it’s my first time in San Diego I just went there too yeah I just was there too so yeah well it’s 70 cover
so I hope it’s again is it really that’s the cover charge for the zoo and you really are treating like a strip club
that’s the cover charge do you need the ticket I have the admission ticket to
get in I call it a cover because it’s so expensive Val it’s called cover charge in the comedy world you go to the San
Diego Zoo fortunately somebody from the show worked for the zoo and gave us tickets so we didn’t pay the 70s but the 70 I
was saying at the at the shows I was saying um when I pay 70 American Comedy Company great Club
if uh if I pay seventy dollars to go to assume I want an armadillo parking my car and I want to have lunch with a
cheetah and I want to have a full lunch not just him stopping by the table to say hi and
I pointed out on this on the website where yeah when they’re advertising 70 there’s a lot of animals that are no
longer there that they don’t mention on that one ah wow the Panda’s gone yeah the pandas are gone yeah I think they
went back to China but on the website when you’re buying your tickets online they don’t mention that there’s a lot of
cages right pandas are a big draw I bet yes yeah but it was still fun it was
great um it was great and like some of the animals are not like you go you know did
you take the bus tour no I did just the walking okay so we took the bus tour and some of the
animals are like you know inside resting sleeping they’re all yeah doing that but for seventy
dollars wake them up yeah man I mean wake them up and get them dancing get
them moving get some blood flow I’m not saying they have to it doesn’t have to be a complete circus but it’s gotta be like I want to see him doing something
yeah yeah they’re all sleeping and then also I went to Little Italy in San Diego have you ever did you go to that because
you’re Little Italy in New York because what because you don’t like Italian space I mean I didn’t know about it but
uh this is the great one where it’s like uh how come you didn’t go see the Italians in um in San Diego and then you
go all right yeah I did go to the zoo
yeah that would have been a slam on that that would have been good I’ll use that later in the podcast uh Jimmy Miller
being in a town full of songwriters he’s talking about Nashville not in New York City being in a town
Hill folks songwriters that often get together and collaborate and write songs together I was curious if any of you did
the same when it comes to Comedy my guess would be that you don’t write with other Comics but I was curious if you ever brainstorm with other creative
people or friends when working on new material whatever you guys are doing obviously is working well that’s nice
here just curious about your process this is great this is great actually I’m
sorry you said Brian and my name’s not Brian but I’m gonna well Val’s comments
dissected it sentence by sentence why don’t you take a few minutes think about how you’re going to destroy this comment
Val first of all we love you Val and uh I’m not I’m saying that because I’m on the comedy road right now and
um so thank you Val we love you and uh Jimmy brings up a
really good point uh because we do I don’t know what you guys do but sometimes we’ll call people and you’ll
just bounce bits off of each other it’ll be kind of an unstructured thing it’s like I got this thing I’m working on and
then you’ll talk it out and it really really does help to talk it out and then get somebody else’s input who hasn’t
been mauling over and thinking about it then you do the same for them and you go back and forth and it just uh it’s
really a fun process because you get to laugh and you get to connect to a friend but you also are working on bits kind of
uh informally mostly I don’t really do that so no no I I don’t like to get
together and write like literally but yeah bouncing stuff off that you’re
already kind of formulated yeah we did that show recently um with Alex Pluto and Johnny W yeah and
the next day or maybe a couple days later um we went to launch and we’d all tried new bits that night so we all heard it
yeah and then we worked on some tags or okay stuff like that yeah but uh I’m not the type that would sit down is like
guys I want to write something about a piano you get any thoughts on that but what if you already have something about
a piano yeah then maybe you know it’s like oh it’s not working yeah or it’s like what is there another angle here
yeah yeah I guess so who do you bounce off you got certain guys
um I don’t know it just depends but um I don’t want to mention their names yeah because it seems like I’m name
dropping then you know and but but but I used to live I will tell you I used to
live in with Dan Soder so we used to wake up and like go is this something is this something and Corey reporting well
Cory wasn’t there I took Corey’s place oh okay yeah I was the replacement roommate so it worked out for all of you
I think Corey got married yeah he lives in Jersey with kids yeah and me and Sodor lived this too adult men in the
same apartment for a decade he’s my house husband so I would throw Buzz
things off of him and he would give me his feedback and then the same and uh it always really helped yeah yeah so you’ll
name drop him as a roommate I will name drop him what about you Aaron well I lived with uh
David tell for 10 years he and I would bounce ideas off uh I
love when people have tags for me yeah I always say somebody said to me early I asked the comic I said can I give you a
tag and they said sure as long as you don’t care if I don’t use it and I I kind of live by that like yeah I’ll hear
anything yeah but I might not necessarily say it do you guys ever get a tag or feedback from a fan that
actually is like that’s a good yeah sometimes yeah sometimes it’s like a different angle yeah but um yeah you
guys seem like like you don’t want that kind of feedback I don’t take it as I take it as like the bit is still it’s
something it’s somebody if you’re doing a bit it’s working and somebody comes up and even that I kind of don’t mind where
it’s like hey this it’s like yeah maybe maybe not I’ve been working people after shows go I wanted more out of that like
so did I right okay yeah I’d love to have you and me both buddy yeah no I
love it all to give me I’ll take any advice but with Comics it’s like funny yeah I mean not So Much from the fan I
mean from the people watching I got a great tag for etiquette joke
you want to tell them that people quote that to me I had a joke about cats and what do you do when a cat dies
what you do with the body yeah kind of walked through that it was not a good joke right
yeah I didn’t know where you were going but I I say in the joke I thought that was
part I said in the joke what’s the etiquette like I said the word etiquette yeah not an important word to the bit
right a woman comes up to me after the show and she said I got a little idea for your cat joke and I said all right I
love to hear it she goes you talk about cat etiquette etiquette
okay yeah I go great I like it it’s a good work
you like it yeah I said that’s a Dusty who I was opening for at the time and he said if you did that they would the show would have
changed said had a cat people been like wait what is happening right now what kind of
show is this add a cat yeah uh Aaron I don’t want to be here all night so tell
me about Babel oh man let me tell you a little something about Babel it is have
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we laugh at Michigan State because he’s good friends with Mel Tucker and uh
so no it makes fun of Yale in Michigan it’s just funny that there are studies from
Yale and Michigan State and you’re like what dropped off quick yeah and from Cuyahoga Falls Community College it’s
like just at all levels yeah Big Ten ivy league Community College they’re all
saying the same thing do you guys play them this year no okay no we used to play him a lot
yeah people say that’s why you don’t like them it’s because they would whip up on you guys well there was this game
called The Little Rascals game where they won by a fake field goal at the end of the game and yeah I do Harbor a
little resentment for Michigan City and the Little Rascals because that’s something that buckwheat did I think so
I don’t know why they called it that but no doesn’t that really rub it in when you lose and they call it the Little Rascals
play yeah anyway all right I’m sorry I brought it up sorry to all the Spartans out there
um yeah what’s the next comment we got one from Keon biard Switzerland
you guys were talking about how a 40 chance of rain doesn’t mean there is a 40 chance you will be rained on but
there will be rain in 40 of your area that’s correct if 40 of your area is
Covered in Rain there’s still a 40 chance you will be rained on love the
podcast though keep it up I don’t think that’s true because I don’t think that’s right you cover all the air all the land
that sounds wrong yeah that sounds wrong a 40 chance of rain means exactly that
it’s a 40 chance that there will be rain on you isn’t that exactly what it means no so
we talked about this so when a meteorologist says there’s a well you’re saying that you said that kind of frustrated [Laughter]
I guess we talked about this
that’s what it should mean I love your frustration that’s what everybody thinks it means because that’s the way it sounds right but what they’re actually
saying is the area about which they’re talking yes that means that percentage
will see rain but if you’re in that area that does that so when they say 40 chance of rain
rain that means 40 of this area will 100 percent see rain oh wow that’s what
that’s what it means so I thought I just saw whether people were Liars but this is now I feel stupid yeah no they’re
manipulators yeah and they talk down to you in the condescending yeah I actually like that part of it but
when they say it’s gonna rain and it doesn’t rain I get angry it’s a little Annoying and I I especially hate it when
they do the 10-day forecast yeah and then they slowly change it as the time goes on it’s like that’s should be
illegal and think you don’t notice yeah yeah even think I know I was gonna rain completely and then oh there’s a 50 chance and as the days go on and it gets
closer they get more accurate are you watching the news every night no because I was starting to get excited
like all right do you watch the news well I used to be in the news business so I like to keep up with it and I feel like guys of a certain age maybe we’re
more inclined to I don’t have cable anymore so I can’t watch but the news is not on I mean you don’t have any
you can’t get the NBC ABC CBS I have the World Wide Web but I’m not keeping if I look on the I
look on my app now try to bond with them so hard he’s shooting everything down you read the newspaper no I haven’t had
newspapers I like the World Wide Web that’s what I call it but I have my weather app yeah that I look but um oh
then you’re mad at Apple then yeah weatherman well now they’re invisible weather people yeah the app is an
aimless faceless person who’s trying to trick me Catherine zocler that’s a great name
that is Zocor it sounds like the Sackler family the zocalers like they do off-brand
the Sackler is the aren’t they the yeah the prescription
drug people yeah yeah and the zocals this is great it was a great joke thanks man so clear they do like yeah apple
cider vinegar and stuff I recently told my husband that for the past few months I was having a really hard time getting
moving in the morning you and me he mentioned hearing this guy on Jim
Rome wow I haven’t heard Jim Rome’s name in a while huh he was great talk about cold showers I said oh yeah Mike
vecchione is big into cold showers to which he replied who is Mike Vicky exactly
it sounds like a Jim Rome wasn’t there oh it sounds like she’s cheating on her husband with me
anyway I started taking cold showers the next morning and it’s not exaggerating much to say it is changing my life thank
you for passing along the tip you still do that Catherine yes Catherine it’s the
secret I’m trying to spread it and people uh because there’s so much information out there and I’m not a a
doctor I guess in Alabama I would be but not a doctor in normal terms
um but it’s changed my life also Catherine so it’s it uh I still take
them I’ve never I don’t take hot showers anymore this morning cold shower yeah workout cold shower and it’s just a
natural thing now take a cold shower because it it um it regulates your mood there’s mood
shifting I don’t know what it does to you but um I do a breathing practice also so it’s really cool and and some
like uh my girl lives in Indiana her parents have a farm in Indiana and it’s well watered yeah she came to my show
this weekend did she and Jasper yeah yes well she was in her family probably did
where do they live they live in uh dalesville yeah that’s right next door
we’re fist pounding for those of you who can’t afford a computer um
again it’s a mystery why my podcast didn’t work talking down to the fans turns out not to work
cold shower it it it it stimulates your uh nervous system and it fights against
it it counteracts depression it really does and people think I’m crazy to say that but it really I can feel it on the
road I can feel it because I go to some places like the comedy Road thank you I went to the comedy Road and
I was in Phoenix and they don’t have cold water in Phoenix and uh I could feel my mood drop I was working out
sleeping still doing the same routine but my mood I could feel it drop and with cold showers that doesn’t happen
anyway my point with my uh girl’s family’s Farm
um I those showers some of those showers like that that and in Vancouver during
the winter and we went to Italy we were in Rome during the summer and it was so hot but then for I guess it’s the
underwater uh the system that they have the water is freezing cold and I never
slept better it’s uh it’s just it’s really unbelievable it really I can tell
the difference between when I stopped taking freezing showers because and when I was in Phoenix they don’t have cold
water there what do you mean about like would it be still cool to us in Phoenix like sure that would be cold because
because you’re used you’re used to um hot you’re used to hot so if it didn’t work it would be like Oh I’m taking a
warm shower this is annoying it wouldn’t be freezing but it’s annoying if it’s if it’s you know lukewarm but to me I’m
like used to getting a shock when I go in the shower yeah so yeah that doesn’t have it doesn’t have the same effect but
do you wash your dishes with cold water that’s an interesting that’s really interesting I wonder if you could just
eliminate the hot water altogether save money I washed it with hot water but I wash my hands I wash my face all cold
water cold water yeah interesting your clothes you go to laundromat uh no I I
have my laundry done you do cold washers oh yeah you haven’t I sent it to somebody okay yeah okay yeah oh wow I’m
excited yeah really no I mean it’s New York it’s like there’s nowhere to do your I mean there’s a place up the
street but it’s too much the guy right beneath me does a great job on my laundry so I just drop it off yeah
believe me if I could have a washer and dryer I would is it rare to have one in your apartment in New York I just thought everyone went to the laundromat
they do sometimes if they’re when I was in Queens you would go to the laundromat but you know New York mostly from
Seinfeld I was actually thinking uh what was uh
the Adam Sandler movie uh Big Daddy yeah and he meets the girl you know the watch
someone’s On Bleecker Street and she’s like yeah they meet there on a date to wash their clothes that’s what I was
envisioning that’s New York yeah no it does happen like that but uh the culture the culture is different people like
there’s no parking is crazy so it depends if you live in Queens you could yeah
call back you can you can park in Queens you probably but it’s very rare to have
a washer and dryer in your apartment interesting yeah I think the only time I’ve taken a cold shower at least it’s
on purpose well it wasn’t on purpose was the biggest show of my life Bridgestone Arena in front of almost 20 000 people
right I don’t know about your dressing room but Edward my dressing room there was no warm water wow yeah no they gave
me a good one [Laughter] I don’t think I could do I didn’t think
I could do it before then but I’m like I gotta have a shower right because we’ve been on the bus and then two days yeah I
had to do a cold shower I had no choice right they about killed me but don’t you in that um first of all like I’ve been
in situation like with Nate on the road where you go to these theaters like and you’ll just there’s no warm yeah and
everybody’s like up in arms they’re like oh my God there’s no warm water and I’m just like don’t even think twice about
it it doesn’t even affect me in any way so but don’t you don’t you feel like you have a superpower like when when the
cold water hits you when you’re able to weather that way yeah I feel that way and mentally because mentally I feel like you know it’s like a thing where
it’s like oh I’m immediately just overcoming something yeah that’s difficult wow yeah so it’s like the whole theory of make your bed in the
morning I have something done so if regardless of whatever happens the rest of the day my bed is made so now I can
take the momentum I’m a big momentum guy so it’s like I’m gonna build on the momentum of making my bed and go into
something else same with a cold shower it’s like I’ve already overcome this is the hardest thing in your day do the
hardest thing eat the Frog isn’t that what it’s called oh I didn’t know that you heard the expert eat the Frog no
if you gotta eat a frog right just eat it first thing in the morning principle that sounds like an Alabama
diet that sounds like swamp nutrition
[Laughter] great name I’ve been listening to old
episodes and just finished the Wall Street episode God bless you that was a tough one just curious how
old Diamond hands is doing on his Investments well I appreciate it I will say uh I cashed out a little bit of AMC
stock made a little bit of a profit we did felt good I held GameStop still have
it still have it well that’s the one that you were really that was a big one I thought that was taking me to the moon and it still might you know and I will
say I mostly haven’t sold it because I forgot about it oh it’s good that’s what they do today
right forgot about it I deleted the app from my phone but you know does I tell you invest it and just forget about it
no I wasn’t Consulting anybody about that I know yeah they forget about it because you lost it
that’s what they want you to think isn’t there only a movie about all that oh it wouldn’t surprise me Wolf of Wall Street
that’d be a great no I think there’s already a movie about that whole game they made like a big short style movie
about that it would be great okay is it Adam okay I don’t know you’re nodding over there
I forgot about the sunglasses the sunglasses that the guy with the who’s uh in your DMs about your shuffling he’s
going to lose it yeah in the sunglasses and the sunglasses how much am I to take
I don’t like that Nancy Sauer if you could only sleep in one position
for example side of your body for the rest of your life what would it be
oh my God on my side right side righty just on a side spread out it’s like I
feel like I’m stretching when I’m sleeping kind of in that position because you you torque your body a little bit and I’m always holding a
pillow which makes my girl Furious but holding a pillow twerks to the side
twerking you say torqued or twerked I think it’s I think it’s kids are calling it
twerking and if I I’ll just like uh to make it all gen Z I’m twerking I wake up
vape and then go back to sleep
guys he’s young I’m young things are happening but no I’m on my side uh
twerked what about you Brian I think mine would also be my side yeah my back hurts now
especially picking up my kid all day right my bag gets stiff yeah but then
you wake up with some shoulder pain don’t you if you’re sleeping on the side well put on stress on the shoulder I sleep on my back
head straight up the whole time well you got to because the c-pan the CPAP machine it does limit your range of
movement yeah I mean I wear CPAP too but I can still lay on my side yeah you guys are both CPAP guys yeah join the club
dude wow I think I’m breathing okay it’s those cold showers we don’t have
depression sometimes we live in a nice place yeah yeah and we can wash our clothes you really took it
to me yeah it’s like uh it’s like under the radar the way that you’re slamming me but it’s like actually we don’t have
depression yeah so good luck with a few things like take cold showers yeah we call it being a man like being a man we
have God in our lives well at least I don’t have asthma the night asthma like both of you guys
that is what it is we forget to breathe as soon as we go to sleep J.R Baker from Dallas
that was J.R Ewing yeah wasn’t there a baker Dallas Bakersfield
can someone get good at creating material for stand up
oh I misread that the wrong time I was saying for the love of God could somebody get good I was like geez Jr can
someone get good at creating material for stand up or is it one of those things you either got it now you don’t
ah it’s a little bit of both nature versus nurture but yeah you could start off with a little bit of uh talent but I
think if you want it bad enough you can like you have to have some natural count you can’t be completely off but you have
to have some natural it’s like anything else you have to have some natural talent but then once you have it and you
you work on it years and years and years and years you get better and better are there guys you don’t have to name names
are there guys when you started you saw them out in New York you thought this guy is not funny and then they surprised
you and now they have a big career yeah are there not even a big career it’s just like they’re hilarious oh really it
didn’t start that way it started like this guy couldn’t I’ve had that about me really somebody said that to me it’s
like I thought you were gonna fail miserably it’s like and you’ve gotten actually decently funny somebody said to
me you’re a few like not a few years ago it was years ago but they said when I first saw you in New York he’s like you
looked terrible and now you’re funny wow so it hurt me a little bit I was like oh
you know I didn’t know it was terrible but um it’s good that none of us know how bad we are or we probably would all
quit right yeah I was talking about this weekend you do need a little bit of delusion yes
to just keep going because if you’re fully aware at least for me if I was fully aware of how bad I was I probably
would have quit yeah you know but in my head I’m like there’s something here even when there isn’t you know so yeah
it’s a balance Nate started before I did but the guys here in Nashville I mean he really started Chicago but he would come
to Nashville and he surprised you when he started to do well no he was already great before when I met him but the guys
who here in Nashville who knew him when he started said he was not funny well he was he was I was with him in the early
days in New York he was always funny but like the way his he’s evolved it’s like night and day unbelievable you know how
concise and well-written everything it’s just it’s but that’s years and years and that that gives everybody else hope yeah
and uh and it’s like you celebrate it because it’s like oh yeah of course there’s Raw Talent there but it’s the
work ethic and putting it in and watching something there’s something very pleasurable about watching something over time develop into this
great thing we’re talking 20 years yeah yeah yeah it’s your it’s your life you know it’s your life but you’re you
putting your life into develop some developing something into greatness over time it’s it’s unbelievable but I would
say hard work is even more important yeah but you need both to really get good but right I can eat both but like
your heart too and also like the way you live your life is also obvious like the
way you navigate like it’s easy to get bitter a lot of times it’s easy to like want to quit it’s easy just to um not
quit but like uh what do they call it quiet quit now where it’s like you’re not writing anything new but you’re
still going up yeah so there’s there’s and I and there’s guys like that that we all know and I understand that I have
empathy for it because it’s very difficult but if you’re a guy who can just like stay the course and keep
coming it’s like you know can’t guarantee that you’re gonna be Nate you
know what I mean but you’ll be interested well you’re absolutely right you’re
absolutely right if you can do it for a career full-time yeah you’ve made it yeah that’s the goal I mean yeah I I I
couldn’t there’s not many people that are happier than I am right right yeah you got you look we poke funny you got
the life you got a wife you got a kid you’re full-time comic yeah and your face buddy
at least he’s got one of those wait Faith you’re taking it to me today yeah yeah well I mean I love it yeah all
right I think the fans it’s a lot of uh take down this Yankee a lot of misplaced rage towards Nate because you’re in that shirt I mean that’s what I think there’s
nothing to do with me or I’ve started taking testosterone again so high tea Brian yeah
Jacob Hoover from the Hoover family I don’t know there was another side one of the worst Presidents ever right Hoover
he’s making an age joke but now I’ve got you right so we can double down on the
kid Jacob Hoover I was wearing an Aaron land t-shirt at a festival and found another folk I told him that I was still
trying to get my comment read out loud on the Pod and he said it might be because my name is too easy to say well
there you go Jacob Hoover thanks for writing in thanks for wearing that Aaron land t-shirt I sell Airline t-shirts at
shows I don’t think I’m gonna buy more of them why not because I’ve had this batch for a while and it is a tough it’s
a tough sell to people who’ve never heard of me or a podcast but what about if you um are you gonna make the move to
koozies maybe it’s the shirt that people don’t like because
aren’t people shirtless in Alabama a lot
people will know Batesville well uh yeah but it says hello folks all right it’s
got me on there doing that but now I’m going back to places that I’ve already been once yeah it’s the same people
coming out so when I pitch my shirt they’re all like yeah we bought it last year because no new fans are coming yeah
maybe a collared shirt for formal occasions yeah that’s a good idea actually baits
everybody else sells shirts baits are selling tuxedos Brian Parker many comedians seem to have
a painful past or grew up with a lot of dysfunction they use comedy to channel their thoughts and feelings into making
fun of it the cast of nateland all seemed to have come from nice living homes
living homes I come from they’ve had a nice living in
homes sure where do you all draw your inspiration for comedy from
Dusty draws his from his past yeah I mean he hadn’t I think he enjoyed his
childhood but yeah he’ll be the first to tell you he had a loving mom and loving Dad yeah and despite the circumstances
he still did grow up with a great family um but yeah most of the comics I hang
out with are just like brutal family lives I mean I don’t I don’t think I
have a single comedian friend with a dad thanks buddy uh oh my God Brian
appreciate that I wasn’t thinking my dad passed away
let’s move on now he told me he told me before the podcast he was going to say that yeah he’s gonna take a shot he said
I would try to hurt you I was making a joke and it fell flat I I didn’t harder
than ever it got so real just like my dad when he passed away oh why don’t you tell us
about uh because I don’t want to be here all night tell us about mint mobile oh I was just about to talk to you about Mitten mobile it’s one of my favorite
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surprise fees if that sounds like your current big Wireless plan it’s time to get off the ride with mint mobile see I
like that that’s a good that’s a good metaphor for the realities that a lot of
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nice 15 a month that’s why not uh yeah that’s
insane time to get off the road yeah that’s a man’s Planet Fitness numbers
Brandon Conrad make sure you have the right Mike vecchione for his comedy
special I just realized there’s a professional hockey player of the same name he plays for my local team the
Hershey Bears that show might totally bomb if he gets mixed up no I think it would be great
it’s like you go to watch a comedy special and you guys get a guy getting checked into the glass he’s like this is
an unbelievable this is a new this is cold open it’s going for 20 minutes Nate is really taking on a lot of creative
power here wow this guy’s doing something new and risky but no there is a Mike vaccione who is a hockey player
he’s very good he played for the flyers for a while now he plays for the Hershey Bears and um so he’s fantastic and then
um can I tell you guys about the other Mike vecchions yeah or is it Mike vacancies who used to be a district
attorney for the southern district in um New York City he used to prosecute he was a rackets attorney he would
prosecute mob guys RICO Act yeah kind of stuff yeah yeah so uh and he’s he’s uh
wrote a couple of books which I’ve read I’ve talked to him on the phone actually we’re supposed to get together before covid but um that’s another Mike thank
you and then there’s another Mike vecchione who’s a marine biologist why wow so I’m like the least successful
Mike Vecchio well you’re dominating them in search engine optimization I’ll tell you that well anytime I get it to my
Tonight Show I go on top and then uh when the Mike vecchione who’s a hockey
player scores and he he scored something in the some Rider it was not Ryder Cup I’m saying the wrong thing it was some
kind of a cup for um that division he scored the winning goal and everybody was dming me that
this Mike vecchione I didn’t know you were a hockey player they were just like June of this year vacuum scored the
series winning goal in overtime of game seven of the 2023 Calder Calder Cup that’s what it was yeah so shout out to
that Mike vecchione he’s a handsome uh stud and um in the zoo just has a
Wikipedia page too yeah yeah you have one huh a Wikipedia yeah I think I have
an IMDb what is that thing that’s more impressive yeah IMDb yeah so that’s not like a common name either
it’s amazing well in in Italy Bates let me tell you about Italy hey I’ve been to the zoo
um in Italy I think it’s not that uncommon you know Becky but we’re not in Italy my name is Brian Bates and yeah
I’ve set up a Google and it set me straight dude we’re not in Italy yeah yeah
it’s like baits say that but right
I love it I love it let me have it can we I shouldn’t be here you did everything I said call me a migrant
is that a derogatory term yeah but it just means without papers it’s
not dirty it’s an acronym uh it’s like NASA oh okay so we can leave that in no I I set up a Google name thing for
myself so every day I just read about more successful Brian bates’s because it’s never me yeah there’s a guy who’s
called him uh he’s called himself the uh I forgot now the video
vigilante Video Vigilante and he goes around and like uh films John’s with
prostitutes and like tries to uh embarrass them um there’s this guy yeah his immigration
lawyer he’s the top immigration lawyers in Houston Texas that guy’s better looking
well he works for fun login of course he’s going to be successful right that’s a good firm yeah so
all right what does he do now he goes around he videotapes people who knows and then blackmails them that guy looks
like he would do that by the way this is a totally different can you Google Video Vigilante yeah vigilante Brian Bates how do you think
you have to do products yeah that’s him he’s got his own busted oh my God the
original video Vigilant this is how I think this is the direction you should take your career since 1996 Brian Bates
Oklahoma’s Own Video Vigilante has been spotlighting the graphic realities of Street forced and underage prostitution
uh this is like some serious stuff huh but he has more TV credits than I do yeah
and then I’ll say one more right when uh great damn he looks pretty good too yeah
good guy we’re all right he’s handsome it was uh when the McDonald’s character Grimace
yeah uh they announced he was a taste bud did you guys hear that no that’s what he is he’s a taste bud but it was
um some McDonald’s manager in Canada that broke the news his name was Brian Bates so wow got all these alerts about
Grimace because Mariah Bates broke the news so anyway I like how you use it did you
hear about Grimace the news I don’t know I haven’t read the McDonald’s newsletter recently Brian well Nate gets it yeah
forgot Nate wasn’t here all right here we go we got a comment from Brandon
Conrad we just did that one just did that one we got one from Robert Ramey
what should oh this is a good question what should the speed limit be if all cars are self-driving
it’s an interesting question yeah now I know that um for gas powered vehicles
during the Cold War when there was a gas and oil shortage a lot of the speed
limits were changed to 55 to maximize engine efficiency
but with a I assume that these self-driving vehicles are all going to be Electric I don’t know how the speed affects the
battery I don’t know if there’s like a maximum efficiency point so I think you can just go as fast as
yeah right why not go 100 miles an hour yeah because it’s going to have a detector when you get close enough to another car to slow down right so why is
that a kid crossing the street it’s going to have a detector isn’t it kid’s gonna have to run faster yeah but if
you’re going 100 miles an hour and it stops you’re gonna well if you hit the kid then they’ll just replace him with
um robotic Parts I would imagine this is all in the future right yeah yeah he’s like six million dollar man I don’t know
if anybody’s old enough to remember that but it’s uh Steve Austin yeah but uh stone cold so six million dollars in the
future will be nothing yeah it’s just inflation yeah everything it’ll be like Zimbabwe money right so I imagine maybe
in the interstate we have an express lane on the left and it’s just like hey you can’t get off
for 500 miles right and you have to drive 250 miles an hour that would be the way to do it yeah well
every maybe every Lane’s got their own speed limit yeah that would be good but the faster the lane the more you
have to go before you can exit I think so I think you have to commit to a certain length just so everyone can get
the most out of it you know imagine going 250 and then having to change lanes over to 100. can I get over hey
can I get over yeah it would have to almost have a separate exit there should be a lot of
infrastructure involved in this I think infrastructure wow okay what
I like the word infrastructure it is a good word you don’t think that ours is going to be in there but it’s in no yeah
I like three guys talking about infrastructure we have no idea about it it’s like we should do this it’s like we
should have a another Lane with its own speed limit and then um we should have a train that goes faster than that right
it’s like do we just have Infinite Space yeah we need the infrastructure infrastructure infrastructure Michael
Ellsworth do you find yourself adjusting final jokes at the end of your set to be sure you don’t quote pool of bait at the
end oh man that’s brutal like if a joke doesn’t land with a crowd do you have an
alternative for the end of the set or if something kills harder than normal will you finish the set early to end on a
high note it’s another great question I think yeah let me take this one yeah go
ahead what does he mean by uh pool of baits yeah and he mentioned your name in it so go on the offensive
Michael uh I was talking about the the Fiasco about the standing ovation and everything at the driver I think that’s
what he’s running maybe I mean these jokes are the I mean these comments are in my evergreen stack yeah you know so
he could have two years ago could have emailed that when we were talking about something I don’t I don’t remember I definitely if
I’m like one joke away from maybe the closer and the joke before that does really well I’ve I’ve gotten off early
if you’ve done your time you’re like yeah I might as well just yeah yeah tap out of here for sure um
and I certainly adjust boy when I was new I just couldn’t do that like I’m like I gotta stick to the
script these are the jokes I don’t have anything but now thankfully if you tell if you know if the audience
just isn’t digging it I can pivot some I mean I don’t have some I can’t just launch into crowd work right but I can
pivot a little bit right but oh we haven’t seen you since the dry bar special came out have we uh well we
recorded yesterday’s oh yeah it hasn’t come out yet but the one with John Chris I can’t remember what I’ve
seen people yeah it’s good to see you man well thank you thank you I mentioned it briefly but yeah were you happy
without came out and everything did you watch it did you go through like Mike watched his four times you know I
watched it they sent me a rough draft ahead of time and I had I gave them one note I left out a line of a joke I don’t
know why just whatever reason just skip my but we did two tapings that night so I emailed him and I said hey could you
for this joke I left out this line could you use the version from the other show
I can’t swear that I didn’t believe it out on both shows but the odds are pretty slam and then when I got the final version they had not changed it so
there was a line of joke that was left out which I didn’t like that some of the jokes did not hit as hard as I feel like they do every weekend on the road but
overall yeah it looked really great I was happy yeah that’s awesome clip was good I hope it helps you sell on the
road feel like you’re saying it sarcastically
but absolutely not I mean that genuinely all right I hope it does help I would never joke is it hard for you to jump
you get Whiplash from jumping back to sincere and sarcastic no I don’t know I think I figured you guys could tell
we’re in the same room together yeah you guys can feel the energy but I think that’s the most that’s the first sincere comment of the day and we’re over an
hour into this so do you ever uh do you debrief the podcast on your drive home
in your mind I run through it in my head I think about stuff I wish I hadn’t said
that kind of stuff stuff I wish I said stuff up yeah so we did the it hasn’t come out yet well we taped it yesterday
the Georgia episode I can already predict some things people are going to say what are they going to say to Atlanta heavy but so much of Georgia is
Atlanta right yeah but and uh and then every state now they say you didn’t get
to this this this this we bare we didn’t even touch Bond really Chick-fil-A Waffle House stuff you think would be
the importance yeah but don’t read the comments why do you guys read the comments I mean I read
them too none of us should read any of them we’ve been reading them all but these are the positive these people are
good but I’m writing sorts through them that’s the tough part yeah and I have to put in pull the baits on myself
well could I answer this one yes because I have some insight into Michael’s comments I love it
um and it’s not uh sarcastic if I do a joke and it bombs I’ll just go let’s give it up for the troops
thank you for the troops and if anybody doesn’t clap Al-Qaeda Al Qaeda Al-Qaeda you hate
America you hate America you hate America get out of my show it’s like no I always uh even if the
thing goes on a high note I’ll go the extra if I have another job I’ll do it anyway just to see and then if it fails
I’ll go I should have ended with the other joke but I pushed it too far and you guys shouldn’t go with me I always
turn it and put it on the audience I make it their fault yeah you’re great with that I meant that sincerely yeah yeah you
guys are both really strong comics
when Kevin Nealon did the podcast he he told a great trick that he about for
corporate gigs we’ll say if the crowd’s not paying attention he’ll just start saying a prayer he was like this powerheads really great that could be
like oof very quiet and then you can start yourself that’s really good yeah that’s a good technique tough to do in a club
this is the Pledge of Allegiance yeah yeah did they still do the Pledge of Allegiance places I can’t remember the
last I’ve never done that I’ve never been at a you’ve never done the pledge I pledge at a comedy show what’s up yeah okay I
mean in general and I don’t think I’ve done it
maybe since I don’t think I ever did it in high school maybe I did in high school I can’t remember when you talked
yeah I applied you every day can we do it over the announcements
yeah oh over the for them so you’ll be if you want to hear what’s for lunch today you’re gonna do the Pledge of
Allegiance that’s right but do you make the kids recite it or do they just have to listen uh no I think ever I mean I when I
taught 20 years ago so everybody would stand up right and and then it was the plan and you shamed the kids that don’t
say under God [Laughter] like a good teacher we’re going to do
five minutes and you know meditation is uh from they can’t get meditation through the school system because they think it’s in it’s in conflict with god
oh so it’s like that’s a whole thing it’s like we don’t need your Voodoo in here it’s like it’s science-backed
meditation it’s five minutes of meditation they’re not telling you to think about another God you can think about your whatever you want it’s like
mindful yeah it’s supposed to be it’s quiet time quiet the practice of letting thoughts go is really what you’re
supposed to be doing and it has nothing to do with any of it and it’s supposed to like scientifically be proven to work
just like cold showers and pushing all of my stuff on you guys and uh this is the South Mike yeah I know but they
won’t let it yoga was banned in schools for until pretty recently I mean that’s yeah I mean it can only help you I
didn’t get to this majority episode but it was founded the two things they banned were rum and Catholics and I support both of those it makes me want
to move to Georgia you guys are both Catholic right yes and I love the slam yeah and I appreciate it
and I don’t think George is wrong actually I like taking a side against my own yeah anybody who goes against
Italians and Catholics I get on board with it I at least love the effort on the slam
pledge allegiance came along very late though didn’t it like you think it’s since the founding of our country but I think it was like the 1950s or something
when it was how was it I wasn’t alive back then but you were in school oh come
on what are we nine months apart or something the same age it I think we’re the same
age it was written the first version was written in 1892 to Mark the 400th anniversary of
Christopher Columbus and the Americas The Pledge that we recite now was written in 1954 that’s way later than I
thought well I thought they were doing this at the Constitutional yeah yeah I thought so yeah like Ben Franklin was
doing there would have been a lot of more yees in it and um old yeah yeah
anyway yeah that’s way later than I thought my first version was written by Francis open for me Francis spelling me
Bill Belize so this is probably done in the kind of
the the Cold War Fury yeah oh yeah no not fewer fewer’s not that’s something
different fervor wow that’s very different the Cold War we found it though we found it I did find it but
yeah it was like if you didn’t say it then you were a communist McCarthyism McCarthyism yeah
that’s a good point all right this week guys we’re talking about Geniuses all right we got rid of
the less intellectuals too and we got three smart guys here at the table we can finally get into it yeah now I’ve
said on this podcast that Nate and Dusty are two of the versions of Goodwill Hunting in comedy I mean where they
started to where they’re at now yeah pretty crazy right I mean they’re both neither one was very
smart but they’re so successful no they’re both very smart right um but Dusty grew up in a trailer well
we don’t have you guys know yeah yeah so you could say street smart
yeah yeah versus book smart yeah but very are they book smart the streets of
Comedy yeah Street Smart is just base it’s Common Sense skills and navigating
life and yeah when you say Street smarts I think like they’re playing three-card money somewhere which I don’t think
Street smarts they Dusty we’re playing stickball in Brooklyn Street Smart you
know kid streets mods they got see both of them [Laughter]
uh so genius the definition of a genius you want to know I think it’s all intellectual somebody yeah I can I guess
um 160 if your IQ is over one now if your IQ is over 165 you’re a genius I
think that’s right uh yes and that makes me pretty smart that bumps you up a couple I don’t think it’s clearly I mean
it’s just that 165 is there like a medical definition no official
definition for a genius no there’s not it’s associated with intellectual ability but also create creative
productivity so that’s where yeah that’s where you can make an argument yeah nade is a genius can you guys break down
intellectual ability because really what IQ is is intelligence quotient yes
but it’s but until measuring intellect is like your ability to work through a
series of tasks in an efficient way to master a skill in an efficient way
mm-hmm yeah so that’s what it is and I I didn’t realize that until pretty recently sounds like a good way of reframing it to fit what you got going
on well no no it doesn’t actually I’m far from it I’m deficient in it all that’s why it’s like mine is probably on
the lower end but um like putting together like things like you you buy a bedroom set like when you you had a baby
so it’s like putting together a crib from Ikea that’s IQ it’s like how fast can you do it can you figure it out
screws and bolts and all this stuff everywhere it’s written in Swedish so it’s like you got you go in and it’s
like somebody with a high IQ figures that they have no background in it they they look at all the information and
they figure it out and put it together quickly without having emotional breakdowns and all kinds of stuff that
somebody with a lower IQ would have how did you build the crib crib right were you a genius about it yeah I called my
brother-in-law and I’m come over one weekend when I was out of town that might be the smartest way to do it that is Street Fighter somebody else to do
this yeah marry someone who has a brother who knows how to do stuff there you go yeah probably yeah yeah and he knows I don’t
know how to fix anything well they there is no even a clear IQ I see I read
different things one thing said when it first started if you have 140 or above you consider it genius but that was one
in every 250 people to me that seems too low that’s way too low through 140 is high though
I think a genius then they proposed 180 which would be about one in every two
million to me that seems too high yeah 160 to me 165 160 I think it’s G what
was the last one one in every two million people so how many people in the United States 300 million yeah so
there’d be 150 Geniuses in the country does that sound right to you to me that seems low I think I kind of like that
that makes it more exclusive I think Tennessee has six million people or something like that that means there’s three Geniuses in the whole
state probably that’s right with as many Waffle Houses as you have yeah the ratio
of Waffle House to Geniuses is always important um do you guys know Mensa I was getting
that next okay are you a member yeah has a joke that said I tried to
join Mensa but I failed so I joined woman sir great joke yeah yeah uh mint said do you
know the qualifications for that yes take a test do you have to have an IQ over a certain yeah you have to take a test you have to
have a certain IQ to apply correct I think it’s just the uh just take the IQ
test yeah you have to be in the 90th percentile on IQ test so 98. so or other
standardized intelligent tests yeah so you got to be in the top two top two percent wow now there’s a girl who’s
like three years old now who just joined Mensa these two-year-olds are getting arrogant
I know but her test is on a level of uh two-year-old right yeah they’re like
build these blocks real quick yeah so it’s not like she’s taking the same thing we are but um she’s better at Legos than all of us
yeah that’s too young for life um what are we gonna say about Mensa
I just know about it that’s as uh close that’s how low my IQ is I know about it
but that’s it do you know what they do I think they get together and talk down to dumb people you know what they do
I think it is I think they just get together they get together and play chess I think they just talk about
bright ideas almost like a think tank right they just get together and solve The World’s problems yeah that’s what I
thought right that’s what I thought smoking should be it’s like they’ve got their outcasts and they have their own
section outside where they can smoke it’s like if you’re gonna smoke it’s like there should be a sign with a topic
it’s like climate change and then smoke and they have to solve it wouldn’t that be a better use of their time before
they go back inside yeah if you’re going to kill yourself you know you’re killing yourself so it’s like you’re with other people and you’re your own group so you
know instead of just talking about the weather and the 40 chance of rain maybe you could talk about you know climate
change and then you know solve it and go back in with the answer well sometimes they do end up talking about that stuff out there
some of the best conversations are just out there you know yeah talk about that
constantly right but that’s for the that that’s my idea for the smokers and also Mensa it’s like give them a topic and
then force them to solve it like don’t let them out of the room make it like a forced jury right Duty kind of your self-declared Genius yes let’s get on it
right fix some stuff yeah I have an IQ test pulled up here I want to run through some of these questions and see how we fare we’re just gonna do a few
okay I’m gonna participate Mike yeah I’m in all right you’ve been talking down to us this whole podcast it’s time to put
your money but I I talked down knowing that I don’t have intelligence so that’s what makes
me unique right you just explained sarcasm to us being very condescending what number is
one quarter of one tenth of one-fifth of 200. I mean I could do this it would
just take me some time how do you approach it uh what number is one quarter of
one-tenth of one-fifth of 200 I would start at 200 and then I would yeah I
would say one-fifth of that is uh I have to do the math 40.
yeah that’s right 40. and then one tenth of that uh would be four and then one quarter of
that would be one yeah there you go all right one
there you go we were all supposed to answer this wasn’t supposed to be group work we we all did it we all did it in
the time that one smart person could have done it all right yeah just answer this next one on your
own this is the a palindrome is a word or phrase that is spelled the same written I explained what a palindrome is
stats is a palindrome that’s true yeah that’s an easy one yeah it was easy
all right this is how we start insulting the test makers that was too easy you guys are dumb it’s about to get real
hard I got bored of this pretty quickly all right but I think we passed uh okay yeah I think we’re all Geniuses yeah I
think so yeah all right oh we quit the test I got boredom that’s the best way I mean it’s just we’re taking a math yeah
I thought that would be fun I mean what are we trying to get in the country
it’s like after question three they have you do the Pledge of Allegiance and then you’re a citizen [Laughter]
we did two questions we’re out of here what’s part of it the the patience and
the commitment required yeah don’t bang your head on the door just yeah trial window try a window yeah you know
Einstein never officially took a IQ test I know I got stuff on that you know what I love about Einstein’s story is that he
worked in that patent office for like 10 years and he wasn’t just working the
patent office he was an accomplished guy but working in a patent office because he couldn’t get a professorship like
everybody else so he worked in the patent office for 10 years while his contemporaries were all at these high
level professorships and and universities and getting all the glory he just stayed
tried and true and and he would get the patent work done quickly because he’s so intelligent so then he would just think
about his experiments and relativity for the rest of the time there’s a ton of down time at his job probably yeah yeah
it was down because he got everything done so fast but then but then he married his cousin and just did he
really yeah he married his cousin well that’s Germany that’s common right I mean yeah whatever makes you happy
whatever helps you sleep at night in your family German no I don’t know I don’t even know I don’t know if it was
common but he did it he pulled the trigger on it but um yeah it’s a different time yeah he was from Germany
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um you wanna talk about some celebrities that are the smartest celebrities oh no I’d love to you may want to guess a celebrity that’s
really small Madonna I know Madonna’s very smart yeah Madonna’s really smart John Gotti was really smart
Madonna has a 140 IQ yeah I don’t know about John Gotti but that is when do these celebrities take IQ
tests and then release the results to the public how does this come out in every Green Room
I guess if you do really well you want people to know or you could just lie yeah or publicist puts that out there
yeah well the highest James Woods wow these Woods the shark
it was on a show called The Very short-lived show on CBS called the shark where he played a uh quick witted
attorney yeah James Woods is great he’s a great actor you know I think on inside
the actor Studios at the show City at IQ of 184. oh my God that is genius level
in any genius level any level 184 is crazy yeah yeah it’s kind of like a what
a waste being an actor yeah you have to you’d have to solve like um well maybe he’s a scientist in
the spare time I don’t know I don’t know some people here that you would might believe something would
surprise you Sylvester Stallone 160. I wrote Rocky the greatest movie of all
time in three days he wrote it on a napkin he directed as well yeah okay yeah that’s all impressive that does
make sense and he has that rough exteriorly oh wait yeah yeah so he’s playing a dumb guy but he’s he has that
I Cube once I did not know Sylvester Stallone at that but it makes sense did he steal that though from somebody
that’s gripped and still a script I don’t think so no no you’re it’s the story is based on
Chuck wepner yeah who fought Muhammad Ali like Stallone went to that fight and saw a wepner
lose badly to Ali but never give up right and he got the idea from the movie
but that’s not I mean all respect to Chuck webner that’s wepner’s story but that’s not he got the inspiration from
watching that fight but that’s not web nurse is he mad about it he’s soon yeah yeah I
mean years later yeah after the movie but he’s he sued them yeah what’s your favorite Rocky or one what’s the order I
think Rocky one is the best movie of all time it’s got everything in it it’s it’s
endearing it’s funny it’s emotional every scene is uh captivating it’s
really an unbelievable movie and it’s a story it’s really not about boxing at all it’s about love and about Spirit the
human Spirit about two losers becoming winners yeah you know it’s got everything in it yeah
if you want to well what’s the next um break the Rockies Rocky one Rocky II Rocky four okay
and then uh and then we’re off into yeah that’s the only ones five I really have
to defend five five would have been great without the Tommy Gun caricature
like that whole thing made it bad but the fact of him losing all of his money and going back to South Philly in the
streets and then raising his son like that would have been if they would just took it they would have just pivoted it
a little bit and went in another direction that would have been a fantastic movie but it it missed the
mark a little bit but I do love the fact that Paulie screwed up I love organic things that happen to me Paulie’s
screwing up and losing all of their money and him having to go back to the streets and train Fighters and stuff that is a very organic thing that could
have happened in the context of the story yeah you like the underdog
I love stuff that where it’s like organic in nature and like I hate it I
hate it when I’m watching something and something is shoehorned in I can feel it we can all feel it it’s like it’s it’s
meant to try to make you feel a certain emotion but it’s not organic to the story it it I I drop out as soon as that
happens what about Rocky Balboa I I don’t like the fact that he’s an upscale restaurateur uh that just kind
of I dropped off that I didn’t like that whole movie the the vibe I thought was
better and people are like no six they want it back I got no no no no you know what was better than six the boxing
itself is so much better is it in six as far as the actual looking real well because Antonio Tarver I think if I’m
not mistaken is in that movie he’s unbelievable he’s like a pro but engineer and the other Rockies the
fighting the way they shoot the camera angle and stuff like that in the in six it looks like a real fight
I mean as much as you can with a 60 year old man and her mom now yeah the 60 year old man like stuff like that where it’s
like you’ll accept things about a movie but like a 60 year old man fighting a fight and being competitive is yeah it’s crazy yeah it’s silly well I agree with
you the first one’s the best first one is the best yeah I would argue the best the best movie of all time my favorite
movie of all time I’ve never heard someone say that yeah well you’re hearing it here yeah and I I respect it
as an opinion I’ve just never heard you hear the movies that are talked about Godfather
get all of it I get all of it but for my money I mean Rocky is has everything if
you watch the scenes the scenes are fall down funny like and there’s like little inside things that are organic to
Italians and I think South Philly like like Adrian has to go home and she goes she goes if I don’t go home
um Paulie has to go home and he goes I gotta go if I don’t go Adrian calls all the hospitals that’s a very specific
thing but something that yeah that would happen if she didn’t make it home there’s no cell phones at the time it’s
like somebody’s not home in like 15 minutes like something happened and they start to panic and then they would call
all the hospitals it’s a very rich it sounds ridiculous now but it’s a very real Niche thing that was a that was a
concern right like so we wouldn’t even know that no what’s your favorite scene in that movie I’m sorry to keep dwelling
on this thing but I got one of mine this will be Geniuses in parentheses Rocky okay we started doing that for episode
titles I didn’t I didn’t do it you didn’t do it for the last one I guess Lauren we can still change it I guess
right Georgia parentheses Regis Philbin and this one will be essentially what I do
yeah somebody said we should stop calling it something because we barely actually talk about the topic yeah we
should put what they actually talked about in parentheses so we’ll do Georgia
doesn’t that tilt it too much I don’t know I want it to be funny but
also get people to actually watch yeah so sometimes we can go too deep in the weeds well you just have to do it like
in this one um you guys should write Mike vecchione gets exposed just say that and then
people will like oh yeah they’re exposing him yeah why Mike’s hates the sound yeah yeah yeah like that yeah kill
folk turn against Yankee yeah Yankee gets slammed tail between his legs yeah
well that’ll be in the show description but not in the time yeah it’s a Civil War part two all right my
favorite scene in Rocky is when Mickey goes when he gets the fight yeah and
Mickey goes to him kind of tell between his legs kind of asking him to manage him and it’s such a powerful scene because he’s the guy who’s down his luck
too and never made it right and and it’s just it’s a powerful Scene It is a
powerful scene I agree with you and it’s good to know that you have a heartbeat so I was starting to wonder a couple
hours into this podcast I know it all comes out when Nate’s not here my favorite is uh and this is a niche one
but it’s when he’s in the car with the loan shark and the lone shark’s driver
um tells him Adrian to go to the zoo take her to the zoo she’s slow take her to the zoo they like the zoo yeah and I
Aaron that was great and as and he goes back he’s like arguing with the guy back and forth and um finally the mob guy he
goes all right stop the arguing takes Rocky outside and he and he and he goes
he goes Buddy don’t like you and Rocky goes yeah and he goes some guys hate for no reason
that’s such a great it’s such a great scene did you never hear that today everybody’s always some guys hate for no
reason yeah it’s just such a funny thing to say yeah and uh and and he talks to Rocky always he was always very
supportive of Rocky but that was my favorite scene he’s like take it to the zoo they like the zoo and he’s like does
that guy got to say that does he gotta say that and he’s like and they’re just going back and forth and he’s like some
guys hate for no reason yeah that’s a great thing that’s a great one all right so mother celebrities with really high
IQs Reggie Jackson oh wow okay 160. the baseball player yeah yeah
Quentin Tarantino yeah surprising buddy it makes sense Matt Damon Matt Damon
seems like he’s smart Conan O’Brien well Conan Matt Damon’s a genius and wrote a movie about himself being a genius I
don’t know if he’s a genius but it says 160. is that the 160 is pretty high it is yeah have y’all ever taken have you
ever taken an official IQ test or anything my mom told me what mine was when I was
young oh really yeah go ahead um is this going to be Mike vecchione reveals how Tommy is yeah those are
triple digits yeah it was it was uh to be honest it was 119. 119 is great yeah
I mean that’s functional it’s functional yeah I’m a functional member of society with 119.
all right I love this guy I was looking up some child prodigies Mozart of course Bobby Fischer Michael Kearney
Michael Kearney graduated high school at age six he um his family he lived in California his
family moved to Alabama there you go age eight he enrolled at the University of South Alabama in
Mobile Alabama yeah now you would say well that’s easy um so he was the Guinness Book of World
Record for youngest graduate the age of 10 wow age of 14 he obtained a master’s degree in chemistry for mild moderate
Middle Tennessee State University wow age 18 He obtained his master’s degree in computer science at Vanderbilt
University Nate’s pretend alma mater and then you guys want to know what he’s doing
now what is he does comedian improv in Nashville are you kidding me uh until
recently I don’t know if he still is or not the last thing I could find on him he was working for like National improv wow whoa what’s his name Michael Kearney
I looked him up on Facebook we had two mutual friends one of them well I don’t want to go too far I guess yeah who the
person was but I asked this person about him and and it he knew him wow that’s the smartest guy in the world
do Improv well he’s got that chemistry background to fall back I mean maybe he can work
chemistry into into his Improv it’d be like corporate Act yeah
yeah that’s crazy um so what is the what do you guys what’s your favorite movie about a
genius I can list some here if you don’t remember I mean to me it’s Good Will Hunting Goodwill Hunting was pretty
great as a janitor who used to do high-level math at a Harvard University
and his friends his friends were like knuckle dragger types
uh one thing from that movie that came from real life Matt Damon’s Brother Kyle was uh Kyle Damon I guess was visiting a
physicist at the MIT campus and came across an equation on a hallway chalkboard
um he the brother decided to complete the equation with totally fake numbers and
the Masterpiece remained untouched for months because everybody was like I think this might be real or whatever so that’s
where he got the inspiration for that that scene
I thought that was interesting because you know a really dumb person would just write graffiti yeah under it
or like draw something that we something yeah we gotta talk about on this podcast
but it’s something vulgar on there yeah but this guy actually fake solved the problem yeah
A Beautiful Mind guessing that yeah another great another great film Ron Howard
yeah it was a Ron Howard film I think yeah he wanted Oscar for it okay yeah you weren’t asking us a question okay
what’s the one on Netflix I’m thinking about Russell Crowe okay you don’t even know the films how about Queen’s Gambit
do you seen that one mm-hmm yeah that was a television show that’s television we’re talking about movies and we’re
gonna move into television shows in a few minutes
we got two hours left of this podcast yeah you could just slow down we’re doing a Guinness Book of
World Record as long as the podcast now I’ve only I think I’ve only seen A Beautiful Mind once but I remember the
scene at the end where the faculty leaves the pin right for him yeah yeah uh according to Princeton that’s all
made up for all what kind of Fades as to where it How It Ends it’s like uh spoiler alert if you haven’t watched but
it’s like he’s delusional right so it’s like all the people get together at the end and they kind of smile at him or
something illusional feels a little dismissive of a legitimate mental all right well that’s what that’s exactly
the way I meant it and he worked in special education yes so live with it or don’t so it turns out
John has a bit of an airhead at the end
my fault my fault guys no disrespect no disrespect he’s schizophrenic or
whatever yeah but um no like I think like the uh
illusions of the people um like kind of waving to him or was I
don’t know I kind of lost interest during that it kind of petered out for me oh and yes the last thing of the movie yeah like towards the end I was
like what what is this guy’s thing is he really seeing things like what are the people really there and then they just
kind of like I don’t know there was no there was no um big ending for me kind of there yeah well see I was trying to
perform Howard because I knew he didn’t like it but I go after wrong hours yeah well the real story is he uh he thought
people were communicating to him through magazines and newspapers right they’re not
it’s called advertising Aaron what are you delusional but yeah obviously on film it plays a
little better if there were if he visually thinks that there are people yeah around them right but but the real
story is a lot less dramatic but there was some of that in the movie wasn’t there like clippings or something a
little bit but in the movie it’s like he has a roommate who’s not real and then like all this other people just walking
like even at the end years later he’s getting the Nobel Prize and there’s you
know people that aren’t real in there right and that’s all kind of that’s Hollywood oh you know what I think was a better version of that movie is uh and I
don’t know if this guy was a genius but the Joker I thought the Joker was an unbelie it
blew me away with how good it was I thought it was so good I think it’s just Joker um no I’m sorry baby
Joker different movie um Joker was on unbelievable I thought
so too it’s amazing after um the other Joker version which I’m going to Blake on Jared Leto no the
oscar-winning Joaquin Phoenix no the one who died um that’s what I’m talking about
Joaquin Phoenix would do another version that’s incredible it was but the other
version wasn’t all about the Joker I was a Batman right right yeah okay so this one’s all about the Joker yeah yeah and
he was great in the Dark Knight but um this one is just the story I mean the
acting was brilliant unbelievable but the story was just when I talk about like it’s organic and a guy like first
of all set in the 80s so none of uh what we’re doing now applies for society what
people think so that’s the biggest part that they figured out and then his his
um background and how he became the Joker was just unbelievable what a great
story Sam Morel was incredible people in that movie right well now it’s time to name drop Sam Gary
gallman was in it yeah it was uh Greer barns yeah oh yeah fantastic just
a classic and I think it’s like because you think the joke or or Joker sorry I keep saying
that joke yeah but it’s like a Marvel I don’t know if it’s a Marvel I’m not a comic book guy so DC yeah DC world
you’re like oh this is gonna be fake and just all kinds of whatever but it couldn’t have been more uh it couldn’t
have been better done than it was it was unbelievable it’s to the point never felt silly really a guy could
really like lose it and spiral that way yeah and that and and like De Niro’s character like making fun of him was it
was fantastic Marin was also a Marin was great in it Mark man and uh just and
they left all the the graphic sometimes it’s like oh why does this need to be this graphic but they left
that in and I think that helped that helped the story also I agree I thought yeah I thought it was
great this is a hilarious list we’ve compiled to yeah and we’re going a little bit ago we’re gonna brush past
Mozart and Bobby Fisher yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because we’re like I’m not at that level
so I have to bring it back to my level right well I do too that’s why you relate more to him than Mozart yes yeah
me too I’ll just some of the movies uh Social Network I mean it’s not really about I mean I is about a genius but
it’s not but I mean I guess what his IQ I wonder Zuckerberg um Zuckerberg and uh lower or higher than
his net worth in billions that’s an interesting question I’ll say lower yeah lower what’s he
worth 140 billion or something well I’ll say higher yeah I think his IQ is around 160.
probably net worth is coming in at a disappointing 101 billion
well wow loser that’s lower than I thought
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all right uh a couple more rain man
I mean we’re just bursting movies here should we get to the Queen’s gamut yeah all right Queen’s game let’s talk about
Chess for a minute I don’t I never played it no I don’t know the horses or else
Searching for Bobby Fischer have you seen that movie yeah that’s a great movie yeah I saw that Bobby Fisher yeah
I love the Bobby I don’t like his chest I like his views he uh this is a good example of a lot of
times genius comes at an immense person right right right where the rest of your
psyche’s just out of whack Bobby Fischer went insane and then it’s just the refreshing weight of just being a genius
at something being that good or something uh either you make sacrifices who was his teacher in that movie
right yeah I think so yes Lawrence Fishburne but it’s like I because I
remember that’s a one scene where he’s like he’s bat he’s playing and he’s like don’t move until you see it and then
he’s like I can’t see it it don’t move until you see it just keeps repeating he’s just like looking at the board don’t move until you see it
I can’t see it yeah it was like an emotional move it really is a very it’s very organic yes
you keep throwing at my face I love it no it’s organic yeah I don’t know the movies he likes he’s a lot of organic
yes um yeah I love that movie all right it’s Queen’s Gambit that’s based on a real
person I believe right is it I mean there was a lot of Liberties taking but there is a young girl who’s a chess
Prodigy and I think she became a grand master at maybe 10 or something yeah
who’s that what’s your name oh yeah I forgot Miss Gambit it’s Gambit no she had a um
but I like the part of the movie where she’s like in like you’re what you were saying is it comes in an immense personal cost because your mental health
starts to spiral out of control yeah like she would lay in her bed and like see the chess pieces moving all over the
place that’s how they made it like will we do that with jokes yeah I’m a genius
I’ll do that with my ACT dude Goodwill uh those CH you know uh uh
blindfolded chess is illegal in a lot of places now why is that because of uh it
it hurts people because it’s so mentally exhausting that
it’s actually dangerous to your brain to your brain wow because all these people blindfold and they’ll play multiple
games of Chess at once they’ll play like 20 30 Games blindfolded and that’s illegal in some countries now it’s
pretty crazy and when you do that you just tell the person move this to that pawn to E5 uh when you visualize it in
your head and then you remember multiple boards and you play all these games simultaneously and you said it’s illegal
and I have a joke for that yeah because you get arrested and put in jail where you play checkers
yeah like Domino’s playing a dumber man’s game is uh Andy
defrain from Shawshank Redemption would you consider him a genius no just a smart guy yeah just a smart
guy a smart guy and a good guy that’s the point he sees he’s uh his goodness I’ve cast all of us not you Mike sorry
but I’ve cast the regular members in England podcast for maybe we could catch you no go ahead and do the regulars but
um go ahead I’m sorry well hold yourself please um you would you would be Andy Aaron oh
about Shawshank yeah oh thanks you’ll be it I mean the smart guy the group that you know you know I’d I would be Brooks
the old guy who can’t make it on the outside world institutionalized yeah uh I think Dusty would be uh red Morgan
Freeman’s character okay I don’t know I did have a great one for him but wise in
his own way he’s got his own he knows the streets right so to speak and then Nate would either be Tommy the guy who
can’t read very well but Andy helps out I teach I help Nate get his GED yeah
yeah he could also be the warden right because he oversees everything and yeah yeah when you throw out obtuse he
doesn’t like big words so any response with violence yeah yeah
that’s great so you know I’ve thought about this wow yeah I can’t share it on this podcast with Nate here because he
hasn’t seen the movie but but you guys have biggest compliment to Aaron though is that he’s Andy
because Andy the his biggest quality is that first night when they bet they all
bet that who was gonna cry like someone always ends up crying yeah they heard nothing from his cell he was like just
quiet and then and then he was like it set to tell him for him being poised it’s the first night in the joint and it
cost me three packs of cigarettes yeah that movie’s unreal I think Andy all
just to get off brand here right at the end I think I think that whole movie’s a metaphor for Jesus
wow I did not see that coming I think I don’t even know I don’t think Stephen King intended to be that way but I think
it’s like a near perfect I bet Dusty will agree with you allegory for uh uh an innocent man comes into a world of
Sinners and says if you have hope you can be with me in Paradise later and he
leaves and then red meets them there I think it’s a pretty perfect metaphor but are you thinking what I’m thinking
what’s that it should be Shawshank too or rocky goes to that channel and he punches your hero Andy Dufresne in the
face so many times and that that he gets paroled to a hospital
yeah we’re onto something Randy gets caught yeah
to America that’s my way of saying Shawshank doesn’t beat Rocky okay okay
well it’s fine can I ask your favorite scene in shawshanking it’s got to be the scene where they have
the beers on the roof oh that’s a feel-good scene yeah that’s that’s on the yeah unbelievable scene
it’s a great scene mine is uh for one little moment yeah every last man
initial shank felt free you’re good you’re yeah come on dude mine’s
favorites when he gets out of the hole after he he plays The Mozart I think it was Mozart the records they throw him in
the hole for a month yeah and he comes out and at lunch and he tells him he’s the easiest time
you ever served yeah and because I hope yeah and he and red have that haven’t you ever felt that way about music yeah
yeah I played a mean harmonica didn’t make much sense in here though
yourselves a little bit like here’s what it makes the most yeah yeah yeah my favorite is uh when Brooks is working at
the grocery store and he goes boss can I go to the bathroom and guys you don’t gotta ask me to go to the bathroom you
can just go 40 years I think that’s red it wasn’t that wasn’t Brooks I think that was Morgan Freeman that was Morgan
Freeman’s character yeah no Brooks was working at the grocery store they both were yes they both worked the same job bag
and bagging groceries no but didn’t Brooks have to go to the bathroom or was red asked to go to them
yeah a memory uh have you ever seen charging there was the old man the lady was getting mad at him because he wasn’t
back in the groceries right double bag yeah double bag I love that whole yeah I surely will I apologize you know
I’m looking to do a new uh podcast and my idea for a podcast is that sometimes you’ll see an older man working at like
uh McDonald’s and we’re bagging groceries or something like your Publix trying to make it so that you guys feel
comfortable so so that a guy I don’t want to hear what celebrities really have to say
because I get it but it’s like that guy I want to hear especially if he’s not just working there as a for fun which I
think that’s a lie many of those guys are not working there for fun so how are
you here working in this job here at 80 and you’re working this job that’s a
podcast like me asking them why or anybody asking them what transpired in your there’s got to be some kind of a
gambling problem triple divorce like there’s got to be a bunch of good stuff in there to get you to that I think it’s
gonna be it’s me on you to bring some levity to them sounds pretty dark now that’s part of my
probation I mean it’s just life you know what I mean like we all go through it we all make different choices whatever and it’s like ah I took my shot and now I
bag groceries to the public so what it’s like I had a boy who could have just had a blast right and now it’s like I’m here
and I’m I’ll figure it out it’s a Gambit yeah the Queen’s camera
all right uh there’s any other shows we’ll talk about Geniuses uh you know uh yeah suits is making a
bit of a comeback the movies I was just talking about suits on the podcast it’s
being pushed on me wow I zoned out I was talking to Laura about it about how I’m watching Suits
now because it’s been Netflix does this thing where they bully you until you just do what they want you to do and
they did that and now I’m watching Suits and now I can’t stop watching Suits I never watched The Big Bang Theory I know
it’s about Geniuses but I never watched it I’ve watched I’ve watched scene I I get why people like it it’s very funny
yeah you know I get it I I can’t sit through the I’m I’m not into the sitcom thing but uh
but no like uh it’s good um but I thought the office like that I
think the office that was the last wave of sitcoms where I was like I gotta this is this is gut laugh funny yeah
30 Rock the and then uh the office I never really got into but it was not
written in that same tone so it’s like sharp great jokes you know yeah uh there was a movie with um
I the movie I mean Bradley Cooper is great and the idea of the movie it got a little muddled as the movie went on yeah
it got modeled the story but I love the idea of being able to see you you like the beginning of a lot of movies I think
I think you’re just falling asleep during these movies no I don’t like it again
Beautiful Mind was great until I fell asleep I woke up and I was like you’re winning a Nobel Prize what is this all
about he’s he’s not a genius it’s all about just him unlocking yeah the 100 of his
brain right with a pill right with a pill with a pill he was a smart guy and they they make a point to mention that
in the movie the drug dealer says it works better when you’re already smart right but he’s not a genius yeah so but
it opens his mind up and it changes his life yeah he actually becomes the man even with his his girlfriend who breaks
up with him because he’s not living up to his potential and then she sees him to get together for dinner and he’s like speaking Italian to the maitre d and the
wager and so she’s like Blown Away with how he’s maximized himself yeah great do you watch Seinfeld love Seinfeld The
George Costanza when he became yeah super smart you remember that yeah yeah that was a great episode yeah his uh
it’s a it’s a funny uh pointer trying to make his girlfriend has like mono or something so he knows they’re not gonna
be able to have sex for like a few weeks or whatever and now that he’s not focused on sex but the point is that that’s all men focus on it becomes a
yeah absolutely have you seen phenomenon no with uh
I mean I think I’m having something going on right now with my brain um you’ve been playing blindfolded chess
I don’t know what is going on uh John Travolta but in that okay he sees um
uh like a a light in the sky maybe an alien or whatever and it comes down and beams him and then he passes out and
then he becomes unbelievably smart so everyone thinks the aliens like came and did something to him to make him a Super
Genius right turns out he was having like an aneurysm and that was what he was singing But it
opened his brain to use the all the parts of the brain you don’t normally use I gotta watch phenomenon I love
stories like that I really love Limitless I love the stories like somebody’s suddenly becoming yeah yeah that’s fine I like somebody doing that
that’s a good yeah all right all right we did it Mike thank you thank you guys for having me I
appreciate you guys I had a really good time this weekend this comes out next week this comes out next
um we can look at look oh comedy Mothership in Austin oh wow comedy Mothership in
Austin so if you’re in Austin come see me do you know what night that is do I know why what night like or it’s all
weekend no it’s Friday Saturday and Sunday comedy Mothership awesome yeah Mike vecchione.com for dates are we
doing plugs now yeah oh yeah okay Mike zacchion.com for dates I have a bunch of dates on the road in uh all over the
place so um please come and see me on the road at Comic Mike V I don’t have a podcast
anymore so please follow me at Comic Mike V on all social media platforms
um do you know which room you’re in like thinking about Batman dude the fat man already sold out the Friday show get
these tickets while you can ladies and gentlemen Fridays Friday and Saturday uh
September 29th and 30th that’s awesome yeah you’ve been to that club yet yeah when I did Rogan I did and it’s
fantastic it’s a fantastic room I can’t wait I can’t wait to do it awesome I’m psyched at Comic Mike V I’m sorry I keep
driving at home but I need followers and I need uh to sell tickets on the road and uh we’re all we’re all I know you
guys do the podcast all the time and you’re part of it but we’re all great Comics so please come and watch us on
the road so um at Comic Mike V thank you guys thanks for having me this Saturday
really sweet yeah it was was that sincere or was that sarcastic no that’s sincere like uh even after my set like
I’m uh sarcastic in my set really heavy and um condescending to the crowd right
and then at the end I’m because I’m really very appreciative of them being there and grateful so yeah yeah so I um
I tell them that I I thank them genuinely thank them yeah
so uh this Saturday I’m in Wilmington Ohio at the Murphy theater Sunday I’m in Philadelphia first time at
Helium Comedy whoa awesome yeah time man you’re gonna watch Rocky uh maybe I’ve
never been to the steps I’ve never I’ve never been to Philly yeah enjoy Philly movies uh that’s awesome dude yeah 4 30
shifts so watch the Eagles play then run over to my show what time is the Eagles game it won so it’ll be over it’ll be
over at four probably right at four yeah and then right to the Mad Dash yeah yeah
yeah yeah that’s awesome man tomorrow night Thursday September 28th I’m in Ketchikan Alaska
at the creek Street Cabaret nice never been up there before pretty excited
about it then this weekend I’m in Seattle at Hereafter crocodile come on out next week Wise
Guys just come on out we got we got great shows yeah you know yeah take it home Aaron
all right that’s it thank you we love you none of this is lost on us we love you so much
nateland is produced by nateland Productions and by me Nate bargatzi and my wife Laura on the audio boom platform
recording and editing for the show was done by Generations Media thanks for
tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast [Music]